Rough Day

That would describe how my day has been...rough.

Currently I am feeling: lonely, sad, bothered, worried, somewhat bitter.

The bitter part is at myself though, no worries. I miss Damon, I miss our life together. I am lonely. I miss being held and kissed, and told "I love You" and that I am "beautiful". I miss those things. In short, I miss my husband. I miss waking up every day to hear his annoying alarm go off and to see his sweet face sleeping. I miss hearing his voice when he called me "babe". I miss going to side jobs with him. I even miss cutting grass with him. I miss the way he said my first and middle name together and how he would call me sweet heart. I miss how he would hold me when I was scared or worrying, and what it felt like to lay on his chest and the whole world would go away. I miss how he held my hand and rubbed my thumb while he was holding it. I miss how hug me. I miss how he looked into my eyes. I miss the way he talked to our dog when he got home and she was so excited to see him. I miss his excitment over a new toy for his truck or for painting. I miss seeing him pull in the driveway at night after working a long day. I miss going out for buffalo chicken. I miss going grocery shopping to provide a good dinner for him and the way he would compliment my dinners. I miss the dreams we shared together, the dreams that didn't come true. I miss being wanted and cared for, being someone's one and only. I miss his trueness, his balance with God, his ability to make me happy and make my worries fade. I miss his strength, both physical and spiritual. I miss seeing him every single day and calling him on my way to work each morning, and at break, and lunch, and on my way home. I miss talking to him. I miss belonging to him, having him as my own and vice versa. My heart is absolutely broken, my mind in torment, which way is up? Lord heal me and hold me, let me serve You until I see You face to face. Guide my heart, my mind, my soul, my everything so that I may please You. Impress upon me YOUR will above my own, and bring EVERY thought into subjection under Christ.