Lots to do...

As the title denotes, I have lots to do. The motivation is slow in coming though. I baked fries tonight because I kept thinking about Becki and the bottle of fry sauce sitting in the fridge. She told me to enjoy it, so who am I to question my elders?

I need to pack for convention tonight because I am probably leaving directly from work tomorrow. Life seems so weird now. I would ask that you pray for me as I travel through the chattanooga area tomorrow. That was one of the last places, happy places, we went through before Damon went to heaven. In my mind it feels bitter sweet, but I know the Lord will help me. I bought a red shirt for the VLB part of the convention because I didn't have any VLB colors...I just remembered a red and black shirt...oh well it was pretty cheap at wal-mart. I am so excited to turn in Damon's offering that he had been working on. Change to change the world. I love him and I want to do this for him. I wish he was with me, but he is in my heart and I am sure the conventions in Heaven are waaay cooler!

I can't say I have had an easy day. I don't think I have had an easy day since he went home, but some days have been easier than others. Yesterday was good, until the memorial service. It was a great memorial service, and I hope I conveyed the point I was trying to get across. But, it brought up so many memories. Sometimes I feel like, I can't believe he is gone. There are other times that I realize, this side of heaven, I won't see Damon in my every day life anymore. That is sad. The love of my life is gone from me. Yes he is present with Jesus, but he is NOT present with me. Physically. That is hard. Then there are times when it feels like he has been gone for ages, yet I can't believe the time that has passed. Sometimes, I am happy for him and determined. Then I feel sad and ,not that I am mad at God, but just the circumstances that seem so unfair. I have so many emotions. I guess I know one thing (and I keep saying it, but it's true) that I want to make Heaven more now, than ever before. That I want to be like my husband was, and like Jesus.

I need to clean up the house and so many other things. I wish he was here. Have a good night.