Sooo...today's Tuesday.

I had bad dreams again. I hate them. I got to see Damon in my dream, but it wasn't a good one. He was a ghost. Part of me wants to scream why DO I HAVE to be the widow amongst the crowd. Why can it not be someone else...then again, I wouldn't want anyone else to have to go through this, because it is awful. I miss Damon, I don't want to have to go through life without my husband. He wasn't just my husband, he was my best friend, my encourager, he held me accountable before the Lord (if that makes sense)he was my hero, my example, my sunshine, my happiness. He was amazing. Now he is gone and I am alone (physically) and it is hard. The part I loved about Damon is in heaven, yeah his body was part of him and as my husband that was great too, but I can't think about him being in the grave. The Bible says to think on whatsoever things are lovely...I keep replaying that day at Dollywood in my mind. I wish I could do things over. Instead of crying and being hysterical I should have been with him holding his hand. I wasn't with him, I should have never left his side. Why does this have to be Your will Lord. I am no one to question You Lord, because You know the why's and what for's...It just hurts so much and You know that too. As hard as this has been and as much as I have felt isolated and alone, I feel like my relationship with the Lord has become strangely sweeter. It is very hard to explain. The Bible also mentions He will become our husband, that is what I need. I can hardly wait to see my beloved Damon again, and I want to make it to heaven so much more. I hope that is okay to say.

On to other news, I should be (hopefully) getting my laptop back this week sometime... They say they are shipping it the 25th which is Saturday but maybe they might ship it earlier.

I need prayer on finding a few things of Damons. I cannot find his ipod charger cord, it is not where he normally kept it. I cannot find the restore CD's to his old pc, and I cannot find a key that belongs to Judy. Please help me pray I find those things.

I cleaned the house last night, it felt good. I still have yet to cook, maybe some day again. Just brings back so many memories and is much easier to eat a microwave dinner or go out. I worked out last night too! Gooooo me. I didn't do much, a half mile, but for someone who hasn't worked out in a long time I guess it will work. I jogged a good speed for a part of it so that got my heart rate up. I can measure it on my treadmill. I popped little house into my DVD player and went to town. I lifted weights for awhile too, until my arms were aching. I did curls, then from my side straight out horizontally, and then put my arms back behind my waist and curled forward. Needless to say, I feel a bit sore today. But that is good! I need to kick my crunches in now! I feel almost in shape...hahahaha!

I found a trick for Tiggers medicine...I feed him only at morning and night...and I bought wet food and wait till he is bugging me to eat, then roll the pills into the food and make a little ball that he just chomps down. GO ME! He was starting to get pretty feisty with me over the medicine. I got mad at him and said "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SPENT ON YOU!" As if he would understand and cooperate a little more. So anyway...he is doing better and thank you all for praying.

Have a good day.