Goodwill

So, I am wearing my super cute new looking skirt from Goodwill today. It is in awesome shape and I think I paid 2 or 3 bucks for it. I got another skirt from good will that I tooootally like. It's a coldwater creek and is sooo soft, I paid 4 for it. I like goodwill now, I wouldn't have said that before I don't guess, but the older you get the cooler that once non-cool things, become. If that makes sense.

Yesterday was sort of a hard day for me. I REALLY miss Damon. There are days that are better/or worse than others. Yesterday was a rough day. I miss everything about him, and it seems I still can't really believe he is gone. GONE. sSorry if I am depressing anyone, just my thoughts I guess. I love him, the more I think about him the more I realize how amazing he was and how wonderful our life together had become. When I wrote my checklist for the perfect man, God put more in Damon than I could have ever handpicked myself. Amazing to know that God chose the man I would marry especially for me and how HE knows so much better what I would want/need in my spouse. I hope I gave as much of myself to Damon as he did for me. I think back on the mistakes I made through our married life, getting upset over nothing. I wish I could take it all back. Never take life for granted, NEVER. Things that seem big, are not. Oh I wish I could take back every mean thing I ever did or said. Not that I was just a big grump all the time, but good grief, I could have done things so much better.

Pray for me and about my future. I want more than anything, more than life itself to be in the perfect will of God and pleasing Him and serving Him until I walk through Heaven's gates. God let it be so and mould my heart to be a woman after Yours. Now, would be the time, if i wanted to go to college...to do so. Or if I wanted to take a lesser paying job, but one that I would love. I have always said I would love to work in a retirment center in some form or fashion. I don't know how, I don't particularly want to be a nurse or a care person, just someone that actually sits and talks to them or organizes fun time. Shows that there is someone there to care! I could go to college and get my associates degree. My dilemma is, I am making more now than I ever have before (not to be bragging, but only by God's grace and mercy) and I am scared to let go of this wage and benefits because I doubt I would find it again and I DO have to take care of myself now. That is the reality of it. Yes Damon took care of many things and I am so thankful that he took care of me even after he made heaven, though I would trade it all and be a popper to have my man back. I just need wisdom and direction. I want God first and foremost.

I am really missing our laptop. :( I called last week and still haven't heard back from them. It is going on two weeks and I WANT it back! GRRR. I miss internet at home.

Looks like I will fly to Idaho for a couple of weeks in September, I am looking forward too it. It is strange that I have two homes now. TN truly is home now, and so is Idaho too. Weird. I just wish DAMON WAS HERE! AAAAHHHH! Did I mention I wish he was here?!

I kept embarassing Bekka last night, muwaahahaha. Not in a mean way, but it was so cute. As Josh and Chandler would say..."once again, no one was embarassed" See, a group of 10 of us went to play putt putt Saturday night. Well, almost all of us went out to eat at Jim n Nicks afterwards and Bekka and Michael were sitting next to each other. I was sitting across from them next to Cha and Josh and I being the wonderful Aunt that I am kept teasing them, (not mercilessly, I am not a monster) and Josh would say (rather facetiously) "once again, no one was embarassed." or something like that, making the point that I infact was embarassing them over and over again although I think they liked it. So last night, I was teasing Bekka and Michael again, and Chandler turned around and said to the effect of, once again, no one was embarassed. I guess ya had to be there. Damon would be cracking up over all of this. I hope I am doing his job and mine with all the teasing.

Well, I hope you all have a good day. Love, me