My last day with him

it may be weird for me to be blogging so much, but its like some kind of help for me. To talk about Damon. I slept okay, I kept waking up and had some dreams about Damon. The song homesick has played in mind throughout the whole night. I am out hereon the porch with the computer, like Damon would sometimes do. My stomach hurts so bad right now. I am trying to go through things to find what I should put in his casket. I found a lot of pictures that bring back memories, memories of how great the love we shared is. But it also reminds me that he is gone. So needless to say I am really hurting right now, and the aching won't go away. I need to write him one last love letter. Who knows, maybe it won't be the last, but it will be the last one to go into his hands. I cant even express what I am feeling. I can't grasp it myself, and maybe that is good. I keep rethinking how he died, I wish I wouldn't. I really really need help from the Lord. I am more homesick than ever before.