Tomorrow I bury my husband. The Lord has held me up these past few days. I know He will continue to do so, but tomorrow will be the last time I see him this side of Heaven. As I go through things here at the house, trying to find something that would be meaningful to put in with him before he is buried, I get more sad. There are times I think "God, how can this be your will?" but then I look around and see the lives this is already touching and I have no doubt in my mind it was his time. That fact doesnt make it any easier. It is easier in the sense, I don't have to worry about where my husband went. As I think back on the short time I had with him, I realized I have never met anyone with a purer heart. He was so childlike and sincere. So unfiltrated by this world. So beautiful, and lovely, and kind, and caring. I had true genuine love. I will never ever forget my husband, he was and is the man of my dreams. He was my heartbeat. He was and is my hero. I can't say I am not struggling and having all sorts of thoughts. I am. I know I love God, and God had a reason to take Damon. He didn't want him to suffer anymore, and in the process of giving Damon the eternal breath of life, his passing from this life to the next has opened doors, already. Doors of salvation. I am so so so thankful I had a man like Damon. I am thankful I had Damon, not just a man like him, as there will never be another. EVER. God made him special, oh so special. Pray for me, tomorrow I have to really let go. You know, I know he is gone, I know he is in heaven, but tomorrow I shut the door and I can't physically see him anymore. I laid on his chest tonight. It still felt good. I will never forget the sweetness of his love, the gentleness of his kiss, the strength in his hands, and kindness and holy desire towards me as his wife in his eyes. I hope that is not out of line to say. I have to make it to heaven, I have more of a desire to go than ever before. I can almost see him saying *as he jumps up in the air* "woo hoo, I made it Kasey, I made it!" I love you Damon, I love you so much babe. I won't let you go in my heart.
Friday, June 22, 2007
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3 comments:
Well, by the time you read this the service will probably already be over, but I hope you know how many of us will be praying for all of you. The beauty of the body of Christ is the strength it lends to us in times of need. I pray that strength will find you today as you give Damon over to the Lord in body. We love you!
Get some sleep, Kasey, and rest in the arms of Jesus.
Damon loved you so much, everyone could see it. Kasey and Damon, Damon and Kasey... ya'll weren't two separate people who were merely joined by the same last name and a shared house, but you were one in Christ, joined by His love and yours.
I'm praying for you tonight, today, and tomorrow. And as soon as I see you again, you're getting a big hug.
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
And stepped in and saved the day
Once again, I say Amen, and it is still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain
I'm with you
As your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll Praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
You are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will Praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find you
I lift my eyes into the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth
Praying earnestly for you right now.
Sisters in Christ
Marcy Doerfler
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