I miss him

I am blogging mainly to let everyone know that I am here and making it, only by God's sustaining hand. I need things to keep my mind busy. Sleeping is what sounds the best. I know that it was my Damon's time to go, that is the only comfort I have right now, and that he is in Heaven. It happened so fast, SO fast. We were at Dollywood waiting to get on a ride and he mentioned we needed to go that he was having trouble breathing. It was ten minutes from the time he said he needed to leave before he had passed out. I can't believe this. I really do not know how to process this. I am heartbroken. I miss him so much, knowing that I will never get to hold his hands, or kiss his face, or feel the love he had for me through his eyes. No more grocery shopping or cooking buffalo chicken, his favorite. My life has turned upside down in 24 hours. Yet will I praise HIM. Please continue to pray for me. I don't even begin to know what to do next, the funeral, so on. There just seems to be an overlooming sadness, that my husband is gone. The love of my life. People are telling me it is normal and okay to want him back. I know I couldn't pull him away from Heaven if I wanted too. He would come back only for me, but his asthma is NO more now. If this cup could pass from me, I would take that option in a heart beat. Pray for me. I love him still and miss him with all of my heart, I never knew I could love any one person so much until I met Damon. God knows, and He will help me through all of this that I don't understand. Right now I really feel weak and sad and I don't know what else. Mainly sad.

There was a movie one time that talked about penguins and how they have one mate for their whole life, I believe even if the other dies they remain true to that lifetime mate. I told Damon he was my penguin, the love of my life. One of the last statements he said to me, was as we were walking past the bald eagle exhibit and he noticed a sign that said they mate for life as well. He mentioned this fact to me, and I thought about how he truly was and is my penguin.

I love you Damon Broyles, my penguin.