I am well aware that I am not the only one in life who suffers hardship. Sadly it has taken this time in my life, and losing my husband, for me to really understand pain and being at the bottom of the pit of despair. As I think about how my life "has turned out" the human side of me feels like it is unfair. Emily and I were talking last night about how we are ready for some fairness. Yet, God is fair. He sees what we cannot see at the moment. The big picture so to say. If I had my choice, I wouldn't be a widow already. I would have held onto my husband and loved him until time is no more. He would have been here, and I would have been in his arms and the world would be right. I would not be wondering how I am going to do this, or that, or why his truck is messing up. Or why people say one thing and do another and it hurts so bad. I would not be feeling lonely or empty. I would be smiling into and losing myself in those beautiful green eyes of his. He would hold me and let me cry, and I would have someone with skin on. We would laugh together again, I woudl make his dinner, and when the world seems in disarray I could sit next to him and be okay. But that isn't how the story goes for this girl. God gave me three WONDERFUL amazing beautiful years, 2 awesome months, and 20 fabulous days of pure bliss as Damon Broyles wife. So even if it never feels fair God, please give me the grace to still praise you as the Rewarder of those who diligently seek You. God Your grace is sufficient, help me to cling to it, even when I feel like I am continually falling.
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6 comments:
Jesus knows the pain we feel and he will give you the strength and grace to keep going forward. I know the hurt and pain of loss and it's not easy, but with his grace, his mercy, his strength we will overcome. I love you and I am so sorry for the pain.
When you talk about how long you were married to Damon, it always make me think of how God gave you to Damon for that length of time, wanting Damon to have you for his remaining time here before he got the best gift ever. You can rejoice in that you were a part of God's plan for Damon. I know that it still hurts though.
There's a Rich Mullins song that says, "If I stand, let me stand on the promise, that you will pull me through, and if I can't let me fall on the grace, that first brought me to you, and if I sing let me sing for the joy that is born in me these songs, and if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home."
Praying for you Kasey. Love you.
Praying for you Kasey!
Love you!
Praying for you. I have requested prayer for you at church several times. God does care and he will see you through.
ditto what Rachel said....
you're in my prayers Kasey.
i understand wanting some fairness but the pain that i've experienced in this life has been on a different level than you. i'm so sorry for your loss. i think of you often. lance & i tell each other regularly how hard it is to believe that damon is gone. i love you very much and i admire your ability to not be mad at God for taking damon. God has a great reward for you and your faithfulness. hang in there. love you!... praying too!
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