Monday

I can't handle today...I really really can't. No, I am NOT about to have a visit from aunt flo either. It would figure I get a blessing at church and I have an awful night of dreams and now this day. I'm so upset right now.

I feel like I could go crazy.

I had an awfuls night sleep last night, bad dreams. Awful dreams.... Horrible. I woke up around 3:30am from them.

It's billing, blech on monday's anyway. But I just talked to my mom, my cousin and her husband who are newly, saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost, have missed 4 church services in a row. Something is going on, I want to know what. It has me very down about it.

Lastly, I have really been requesting prayer about something and it appears one of the people I have had involved in my prayer doesn't even want to participate in what God might or could do. Instead they want to remain in the secure and normal routine they are accustomed to. I am really hurt over all this.

I am crying at work nearly, I feel crazy, amongst getting sick. I just want to go home and be by myself. NO one...no husband, no family, no friends...NO ONE. I want to lay there. Gain even more weight and be awful and ugly for the rest of my life!

I am truly in the mully grub's today. God please help me to get out of this...cus I know it's not pleasing to you :(