Nut Case

Ever feel like one?

I read Erika's blog, and she got me thinking. Great minds think a like....*grins*

I was not really emotional UNTIL I got married. Now, I hadn't thought about it before, but I moved from my parents house where I had lived my whole life (never moved, not even once) directly to my husbands home 2000 miles away. I guess it had an affect on me. One minutes I was fine, the next minute I was bawling my head off in the shower.

Damon and I had a dream courtship, met and dated for four months then engaged, and were married 6 months later. Hardly ever, maybe once did we bicker that whole time. Dream dream dream time in my life.

VERY rarely have we fought fought, (no fists people) maybe 3 times in our whole marriage (goin on two years) have we been REALLY upset. The other times were just like erika said, bickering. I think I may be to needy? I am an only child, and I pretty much raised myself because dad worked and was gone for two and three days at a time, mom was working too. From 5 and up I was home a lone. Never had kids on the block to play with till I was 12 years old. (although our block was kinda weird, cus each house had a few acres to it, so we were spaced out) So needless to say I grew up HATING to be alone. I hate it to this day, I don't like being a lone. People who say they need their space...thats NOT me. Combine that, with moving across country from your family and all you have ever known. I think it makes me over emotional, who knows, maybe its an excuse. I do not trust people easily, because I try to hard to please someone and something happens where I get hurt. So most times I just joke around with many and trust few. I don't want to talk to just any one at church, because tho Damon has known them for a long time and can just trust them, I have basically just met them and it seems like whoever it may be I am talking to thinks its about me missing home and that is NOT the case. So basically I rely upon my husband for emotional support, and being my friend, my buddy, my everything. Maybe that is where I am wrong, and I need to cleave to God like that. Who knows anymore...I feel so messed up...

I love Damon with more than I can even understand or describe, and he loves me. I love him and could not live without him unless God saw fit for that to happen, God forbid. Maybe I am the problem, does anyone have any advice for feelings so alone, and so far away.