ER, Life, Depression, Joy

I get a call around 2 yesterday afternoon from my sis in law saying they are taking Damons grandmother to the emergency room and she can't get a hold of Damon and needs someone to come be with Mamaw. I ask my boss if I can leave, and he told me to go ahead and go. I get to the ER about 2:45ish, yvonne has to go home to wait for the boys to get off the bus and make dinner, she took work off for the night so she can come back to stay the night with mamaw. At any rate, we were in the ER from about 2:30ish to almost 7pm last night, until the finally moved her to a room. The whole time this is going on, papaw woody is on the 6th floor still, dealing with the infection in the calf of his leg. No one is to tell him about his wife (mamaw) being in the ER or he will flip. So the whole time we are there ( finally left about 9pm ish) we have to remember not to say a word while we alternate between the ER, 6th floor, and finally 7th floor. Lastly, papaw has been in there since saturday and they are supposed to release him today around noon. That means mamaw needs to be out before him so she can get home so he wont know a thing. The tangles web we weave. She is going to be fine though, its not a heart attack, they think its just stress from worrying about papaw.
We have church tonight, I need to give my calendar orders to Kim. The VLB events and services have been going really well. I wish we could go to the Retreat but I have to choose family over retreat. I miss my home and my family. If I were to drive its a 36hour drive, if I fly its 5hours of straight flying and atleast a couple hundred bucks. I could handle even being 8 hours away, that would be WAY WAY easier on me. My grandmother is sick, my cousin is sick, my aunt has died, my horse that was my best friend when I had no one else had to be put down, the cat I had had since I was 3ish was put down. I miss home, my whole life is changing, my life, my family, and I can't be there. It tears me up. God knows why though, I just have to remember it. It's not wrong to hurt, only wrong to be bitter and make others miserable for it. I want to move home though, I would miss several people here though if I did.

I love my family, on both sides. I love my husband. He treats me like the queen of his heart, sis Tammy says he looks at me like he could eat me up. She said that was a good thing. He is the best thing to ever happen to my life besides the Lord. He makes the hurt go away, and the bad turn good.