Can't help but feeling...

...somewhat lonely. *sigh* Way to start out a post huh.

Tonight is the last night of my double shifts. I have the rest of the week off after today. From BOTH jobs. Except I found out I work Thurs night at Wal-mart. This will be nice to have a break, ya know?!

I am hoping to be able to trade some shift with someone in hopes of making it to atleast part of state convention. I could see the smiths! :) Pray girls, pray. Boys too, if you want :P

I had hoped to make a trip with Rachel to Gatlinburg this week to just hang out. NOw that I am working that night, doesn't look like its going to happen. Only available day is Tuesday, July 4th. I don't know if anyone would want to go do anything with me or not. Damon's going fishing with Bro Jerry, I was told. I guess he didn't care whether I would like being left alone or not. Yes, I am still somewhat perterbed at him for that. Not that I mind him going fishing, but it is a holiday that's sposed' to be special and with family and he is the one who I want to spend it with. Now I am left by myself all day, again. Grrr. So Meg or Rachel, if you want to do something on the 4th, call me. You both should have my number. Hey, I may even call you. *sigh* Feeling left out.

I am trying my babies outside today. Damon doesn't want them in the house anymore (the cats). I hate this. I married a non true animal lover. He loves honey and the cats, but theres people who love animals then theres people who are TOTAL softies to any kind of animal. Shoot, I think possums are cute. I'm weird like that. I will probably bring them in tomorrow night if they seem to scared by the fireworks. Course' the dumb cats probably won't care, I mean they lie in the middle of the road for rests and naps. Dumbies. Maybe they will get squished and I won't have to hear it anymore :'(. I'd rather have them put to sleep then give them to just anyone. I'm tired of hearing Damons complaining. Sad to wish they would die so you don't have to worry and fret anymore huh.

I am trying to stick it out til' August for Wal-Mart. Yesterday I was ready to quit. THey had me work 28 hours from Thurs-Monday (today). That's a lot for me when I work a regular 40 at this job.

I really want a baby, Damon doesnt want one yet. I can see his points, and sometimes I want to wait more. I have goals to reach before a baby, but that doesn't change that I want one. I want to have a house before a baby, be financially in a place where I can afford to stay home or atleast only work part time, lose some weight, cus I know I will gain some and I hear your body is never the same. I want a girl first, I want to use old fashioned names. I love Lily, Rose, Lucy, Ruthie, Mae. I think they are ladylike.

I am a roller coaster, a dreamer, never sit still type person. I am always wanting to go go go. Growing up mom would talk about how I was always ready to be on the road for the rodeos and she couldn't wait to get home. I was content to just travel all the time. My husband is much like my mom, he doesn't like to go go go. I wonder why we were paired together sometimes. Not that we shouldnt have gotten married, nothin like that, but we match so completely on most things. Then on this sort of stuff, I have a day dreamers spirit, and he is the cloud that rains on my fun. Not complaining, just wondering, am I weird? Am I wrong to be like this. I can't help it. I love to travel. Maybe Damon is supposed to help make the possible dreams come true and the impossible ones he is sposed to help me let go of. Who knows. So much on my mind lately.

Everyone pray for the TCOG, while you pray for that, please say a small side prayer for my not as important personal request. I would appreciate it. I know I am not the only one with problems and there are much more important ones out there. God cares about it all though. love and hugs.