Worry Vs. Prayer

Why is it so simple for me to worry before praying?? Yet I find it odd to stop, drop, and pray before worrying?? Ha, I like that, stop, drop, and pray. Amen Lord, help me to do so! We all have sooo many situations in each of our lives. Some are huge, some are small, but in our lives everything matters to us. Big or small. I am by nature a thinker, a ponderer, a figure everything out person. I think that before the Lord, a balance of this nature is a good thing, but when I let it get the best of me and get extreme its dangerous. As I was thinking about things today, the thought came to be that God has it ALL under control. If I am following Him, He has everything in His hands. I am so a "now" girl, if my prayer doesn't come true instantly I wonder what is wrong, why me, why this or that?! I know we are human, so we have moments of weakness, but I want to press toward the mark of the high calling of Christ, so I want to be better about this, perfect practice makes perfect.

Today was a busy day at work, when I got home momma and I visited for awhile, then I got dinner and took it to her and dad's house. Mom and Dad's neighbor then called me over (He was outside cooking at his grill) and asked me if I wanted a burger. I told him I had just eaten, but he kept asking...so I took it home. Mom says his way of loving is feeding you. He's a funny guy. His son and his son's friend were outside eating, so I talked to them for a bit too. Went back to moms and watched TV with her for a while. Thats about all to my day.

Prayer request, my neighbors decided not to keep the kitten, but they will foster it until they or I can find a home for him. So please say a little prayer for him to find a home. He has had such a rough start, he needs a family.

Oh and I am starting to get sick, please pray for me. I took three echinacea tonight, hopefully that will help the immune system.

Month End

Today is month end at work, I hope we get done at a good hour. I am so sleepy. It would be better for me to go to bed earlier, worked on that a bit last week, need to keep itup.

My neighbors are doing a test run on the kitten. My OTHER neighbors. Got him from the ones on the left of me, the ones on the right would make him a great home. They have kids, and want to see how there girls would do, among other things. So hopefully he husband will say yes, I know he would have a good home there.

Praise the Lord for another day, have a good one.

FRUSTRATED!

OoooooooooooH!!!!!!!!!!!! I am TIRED TIRED TIRED of my self. Seriously....I wish I could for once react right to things. I am ready to cry, again.

Me neighbors found a kitten a some fishing ponds, it had a hook in its mouth, nose was bleeding, was near death as they described it. So, I took it up on myself to find him a home. Lady at work said she would take him, pick him up today, so he has been at my house since Friday I think, maybe Thursday waiting for his new mommy. A, he is soooo cute, and I felt sorry for him. But, I do NOT want another cat. So I was super excited to find him a home. She calls me today, she can't take the cat. I have turned down another person because I told this lady yes. So now, I am trying frantically to get ahold of the other person to see if they still want him. I know she can't help it, and she really wanted him, but I am ready for him to go. I feel so sorry for him and how his life has started, and he is doing so much better now. So if I cant get ahold of the other person by tomorrow and they dont want him, I am going to have to take him to pet haven, its a no kill adoption place. Please pray for him to find a home.

I sang at a wedding yesterday, God blessed the broken road, by Rascall Flatts. The wedding was pretty, and the bride beautiful. Pray for the new couple. They needs the fullness of the Lord. After the wedding I headed up to Cascade for the tail end of camp. The Lord really moved, and it was a blessing to be there. I was sad to come home. Then the news of the cat pushed me over the edge. I wish I would respond to things better. God help me to be a better person for You.

Date Night

I had a date with my Daddy tonight! Momma is out of town and she told me to take care of dad while she was gone, so I called him while I was at work today to see if he would like to go to dinner tonight! He said yes. So we went to this new pizza place by my house. I am glad for tonight, it kinda was a new door to our relationship. My dad and I have a good relationship, but its weird...I still feel little around him. Tonight it was like I was a grown up, talking about grown up things. He even dressed up and combed his hair, like when he goes out somewhere nice. My dad is a total t shirt and jeans guy, most times he is at work, or outside working in the garden or doing something. It was cool to see him get all spiffy for our little night out. Praise the Lord.

Oui Vei

I got a sunburn!!! :( OUCH. In hopes of getting a tan, I put tanning oil on, but it had sunscreen in it. Enough so that I THOUGHT I was protected. I am so burnt. Last night I woke up and started crying cus it hurt so bad to lay down. I almost called my momma. I feel so dumb and do not plan on doing that again!

I keep looking at Damons picture at my desk at work, I really really really miss him. *sigh* He is in heaven and so happy, so I need to try to be happy as well. God has been so good to me, I have nothing to complain about. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

I guess that is all...I am hungry so I need to cook something. Pizza sounds so much better though.

Headache

Well...where to begin. I had some freakout moments on Thursday. But, that was due to me not relyin on the Lord fully. When I let Him help me, it is so much easier, when I wallow in self pity...thats when things get hairy. Since then, I closed on my house. Want to hear something weird??? Because I moved to Idaho before finding a job, I did a lease purchase option on my home, that way I could find a position then work on financing. I stepped into my house for the very first time, on February 19th, the 8 month anniversary of Damon's promotion. I CLOSED on my house June 19th, the one year anniversary of his promotion. I think that is so weird, in a good way. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, Damon would like this house. The only thing that would make it better would be to have him here. I have had many ups and downs since Damon moved to Heaven, but through it all, the Lord has guided me and carried me. From sobbing mess, to even some joyous times. I love you Damon, I always will. I am so glad to be done with the house buying process. Thank the Lord.

Today, we had a yard sale. I got some sun, my feet have a great flip flop tan line. Been building that line on my feeties for a couple of months now. I figure if I keep working on it, I can go into a store with the no shoes policy, not wearing shoes, and no one will notice. I will just look like I am wearing white flip flops. HA, that would be funny. No, doesn't take much to amuse me. Well, I am sleepy and want to be off of here.

Thanks

Thank you for all of your support this day. For the cards, texts, voicemails, comments. God bless you for your care. I have done okay today, but I was looking at the pictures on Rachel's blogs...I busted out. I miss him. I really really miss him. His laugh, it made everyone laugh. I miss him, all of him. Goodness...

To all of Damon's and My family. I love you and pray for your hearts this day.

My Heart is in His Hands

The Riddell Family sent me a poem in my care package last week. I wanted to share it today, being the day that one year ago, the wife side of me had to let my husband go, yet the spiritual side of me realized where my brother in Christ now resided.

I don't know who wrote the poem, if Rachel did, or she found it...its based off of Proverbs 3:5,6

I held my heart so close to me
Bidding no one interfere
With the plans I laid so carefully
And the dreamsI held so near

But my fragile fingers couldn't hold
THe things so dear to me
They slipped right through
Before I knew
The pieces were at my feeet

Through my tears I heard a Voice
So gentle and so sweet
He did not scold, He simply said,
"Give the pieces to me."

I gave to Himmy shattered heart
He tookd it, and with a smile
Fashioend the pieces into something
A little more worthwhile

All the dreams I once had loved
Seemed small compared to this.
My plans were all so commonplace
When compared to His

Now I'm resting peacefully
Now I understand
I know my life is in His control
And my heart is in His hands.

Aside from my experiences with the Lord, Damon is the single greatest thing to EVER happen to and in my life. He took me and loved me, just as I was. He saw beautiful in me. All of my quirks, all of my little insanities, he still loved me and cared for me. He was my very best friend, the best friend I have ever had. We could talk about our fears, dreams, worries, inspirations...anything. It is still so hard for me to realize Damon is gone. He isn't dead, he is alive and well in Heaven. He made it to my goal destination. I know God didn't take Damon to leave me, or all of our family desolate. That, truly, somewhere there is a big plan that is greater than we all could have imagined. Until I see that plan, or even if I never see it, I want to live my life in a way that God is pleased and Damon would be proud of me. I have never stopped missing him, nor loving him. As his wife, I wish with all of my heart, he was here. But I am so glad he made it, that was his number one goal in life, to make it to Heaven and to be a light to this world while he was here. He accomplished all he set out to do, all the Lord had for him.

To my Heart's True Love,

I love you. I miss you. I will see you again. You are beautiful to me, in every way. You are my best friend, and I will always be grateful to you and the Lord. The Lord used you to affect my heart for all of eternity, and I am indebted to His goodness for this. Thank you for loving me. I was truly the most blessed woman in all of the world, to have been your wife.

I love you always and forever,
Your Bride- Kasey

Ugh

I don't even know what to feel. I am plumb wore out emotionally. I just need prayer..please. please please.

Bedtime

It was so easy, to be young and have a bed time. Now that I am an adult, I TRY to be in bed by 10...doesn't happen. I need to be my own mommy and make myself go to bed at night. I mowed my yard tonight, and fertilized it, well only half of it. I REALLy need to clean the house...just lacking motivation. I need to do laundry too. So much to do, so little time.

Thank the Lord, these past few days have been much better. I was pretty depressed/down last week. Pray for me these next few days though, especially Thursday. God can make that day okay for me and for Damon and me's family. Should that be Damon and I or Damon and me??I don't know.

Check out the desolate recipe blog, Rachel posted a recipe, that sounds uber yummy. I want to try it.

My subdivision is having a yard sale this weekend, I need to get some stuff out there. It would be good to get rid of some things. I almost got hit tonight! Ugh! This big van came across the line and I didn't even see him, mom was with me and she made that noise, the noise that scares the fire out of you. You don't know what is wrong, but you know SOMETHING is wrong. He was within 6 inches of me. I looked in the mirror right after the van passed and he was still on my side of the road. Thank the Lord, He kept us safe.

Please pray for a family friend, I mentioned them last week, well the just lost a family member at a very young age. My friend is taking it pretty hard. Please pray for him, and the whole family.

Grrrrr, that camera chord!

I left it, again!!!! I left it at my aunt's house. *sigh*. Today was family day. We had a picnic/bbq/outdoor party thing in honor of my Uncle Mark, who is in from Virginia. He is in the Army and isn't in Idaho much, they came up for a week. So Grandma had a party. I have been dubbed the family photographer. I left the camera bad, which has my chord, at my Aunt's though, and I neeeed it so I can send some photos to some second cousins. I got some sun today, shew. You know that "hot" feeling after getting to much sun. I got it.

We went to the zoo this morning too...it wasn't as cool as I remembered. It seemed so big when I was little, and now it seems so tiny. It was nice to take my young cousin's though.

I am thinking of having a fourth of July picnic/bbq for the family at my house. I love to entertain, so hopefully it will all work out.

I have three apple trees in my back yard, and I went to Joanns today to get some fabric to reapholster my outdoor chairs, and they had their summer stuff on sale 50 % off. So I got this cuuuute little sign that says, u pick apples, 5 cents. I am going to hang it buy the trees, and put out a little bucket, get my five cents worth ;).

I got a care package from my Antioch family today, I LOOVED it. I cried. I miss you guys so much. You truly have a huge place in my heart. I miss you!! Hi Morgan Taylor Fox!

My Cousin

Here is a picture of one of my Cousins, Troy. He and I grew up together, and out of all my cousins (we were the closest in age), spent the most time together. He is a really big encourager, and one of the sweetest people I know. I am so thankful he has been here to help me in the new transition of my life, back in Idaho. I love you Troy!!

Melancholy

I been feeling very melancholy lately. I think about others, who have it much worse than I. Who have lost their husband, have children, and were kicked out of their home. I know I am a very blessed woman. I am near family again, I have a home of my own, I am not wanting for anything. But I have realized more than ever, since Damon's death, that all these "things" I have (with the exception of the family part I just mentioned...I am talking material wise) don't make me happy. Yes, they are nice, but they are not my happiness. God is my first happiness, but that part of humans He created, the part that he filled with Eve for Adam...feels so empty. I realized I have had many blessed moments, and times of happiness since Damon went Home, but my happiness that I had when I was his wife and helpmeet, I miss it. I don't ever want to complain. The Bible says to be content in what so ever state I am in, I want to be that way. Please pray for me to be pleasing to the Lord in this area. Pray for my work situation. I am having to deal with some people, that truly need the Lord. They are outright rude to me. I want to shine the Lord to them, not respond. I don't want to come off as ungrateful or whining, but I am at a point right now, where I really need the Lord to intervene, and in that process, I need to do my best to please Him in my actions and efforts.

In Need of Prayer

I am requesting prayer for some family friends, they just lost their neice/daughter/sister/cousin to cancer. She was in her early twenties. Please pray for this young woman's husband right now as well.

One Year

Please pray for me...the closer next thursday gets, the more sad I become. Next thursday, June 19th will be one year since Damon passed. I have never liked to use the word "died" because he isn't dead. He is alive and well, in Heaven. On my calendar, I have it marked as his one year promotion anniversary. As happy as I am for him with the spiritual side of me, the wife side of me...my heart beat feels nearly gone. I loved him so much, and love him to this day. I will never forget how he let the Lord use him to affect my heart for eternity. I love my dear husband, and I miss him. I know there was a bigger plan. But as that day nears, please please pray for me. I love you Damon Broyles, forever and always. I will always be your Kissy.

Quiet Quiet

This house is so quiet again. Not that you're loud Em...just was nice having someone else here. I miss her a lot. I wasn't sad yesterday, or really even this morning...but when I woke up this morning after getting back from the airport and going back to sleep...I was sad. I forgot my phone charger at the cabin, and went up to get it, Emily wasn't there, and it felt empty sort of. I just miss you Emily! :'(

Time seemed to fly so fast while she was here. There wasn't enough of it to get everything accomplished. I am just glad she is making it home to her momma in one piece!!! haha

Tomorrow I have something to do, but cant seem to remember. I know one thing, I need to go to bed earlier than later tonight. I miss you Emily.

Success

I had a Luau in honor of Emily tonight. It was a success, and the food was fabulous. A friend of mine recommended a hawaiian bbq place she found. YUM. I didnt even know a place existed. But I am so thankful I found it, praise the Lord. The Bible says every good gift is from God, and that was a good gift. I had part of moms side of the family, and part of dads, some church friends, and some neighbors. It was quite a gathering and lots of fun! I don't think it has hit me yet that em leaves soon. My dogs are howlin, aka feet hurting. Good night. Pray for me, feeling down. I seem to make a certain mistake over and over. I don't want to choose anything before my God.

All Night

No interuptions from the smoke alarm, allllll night!!! WOOHOO! Praise the Lord!

Today we get a pizza party at work, double woohoo!

Tonight is busy with riding horses, and planning for tomorrow.

Have a good day

Positively Confused

Stopped by the fire station...the fireman dudes came here and installed new batteries in all my smoke detectors. 30 minutes later, it went off again. I must just have a bad one. :(

Midnight Cry

The smoke alarms just started going off in my house. Around 2:45 am. I don't smell smoke. I don't know why they would go off. They have stopped now, but that is really bugging me that they even started for what seems to be no reason. I saw that the alarm in the hall way, it's green light wasn't coming on at all, where as the others flash on and off. But they aren't battery operated, battery back up, but not operated solely. I am freaking out. I want Damon, I want my Mommy. I HAVE to remember to lean on the Lord. Sometimes being an adult is so scary.

Them going off like that, really reminded me of the rapture. It will happen in the blink of an eye. In the twinkling of a moment. Dear Lord let me not be found spiritually asleep, let me be ready and waiting. I don't want to be found sleeping and wake up like I did tonight, surprised and wondering what and why was that alarm going off.

Four Wheeling Adventures

I called my cousin Troy, before Emily even got here, to see if he could take us four wheeling. He knows trails, directions, etc. ...that I would be incompetent by myself. So today was the day. We headed to an area I think is called Willow Creek and rode trail 300, 540, and 500. Emily was a trooper and did really well for her first time at serious riding. She was un accustomed to a lot that riding entails, but by the end of the day was smiling and I believe having a good time as she was way more comfortable. I know I kept praying for her to have a good time. It started out rocky, as the trail, though rated beginner, had some pretty sharp turns to deal with. She ended up with the four wheeler on its side, but no worries...wasn't hurt. I think that scared her for some of the other stuff that came later on. It was all in all a fairly good trail. A few areas got pretty uneven, so it made you feel like you were gonna flip over. That is the part I don't like. YUCK. It rained all day, more heavily at the end, and we were soaked by the time we got back. I really had fun today. I only wish it wouldn't have rained so much. I am glad Emily ended up having a good time.

Blessing for today, safety, and my cousin Troy.

Pik-chas

Round Valley Area, close to Cascade Idaho. I think it a beautiful peace of earth.

Picteresque Round Valley

Truck and trailer at cabin

Emily, early morning, far right.

I thought this to be another neato picture.

This is right outside my grand parents cabin, it stays foggy until about 8:45...thought it was a neat pic.

Kayker on the Payette River....one word: CRAZY. No way is this my cup of tea...

Emily gazing out. :) Trying to look nonchalant

I thought this was a cool shot of the train.

Scenic Train Ride, front of the train.

Abby with a muddy nose, after trying to dig something up. Note the scarf she is wearing. :)

View from my back yard...thats the flag above the Middle School

Abby giving me loves...love that face eh?

Home

We are home. Emily and I headed up Saturday morning to my grandparents cabin. Its in a little town about an 1 1/2 hours away, the cabin is fairly close to the river too, makes for some gorgeous views. I will start off by thanking the Lord for His protection. Issue number one: While unloading the second four wheeler (ATV) the ramp slipped and fell, thus leaving the four wheeler hanging about 4-5 inches off the ground. Tried and tried to lift it back up on the trailer. It was resting right at the base of the axel and the guard plate, not good for trying to move something. Finally went down the mountain to another cabin and got some help. Issue one: fixed. Issue two: hot brakes. *sigh* lol. Emily had never really been on a four wheeler, so she didn't know to release the brake I had set. Its something that if you didn't know much about the four wheeler, you would miss very easily. I had set it because that area it very hilly, and I didn't want to play "chase the fourwheeler." However I forgot to RELEASE the brake when we actually started to ride. We got down to where the road curves to head up to Packer John (thats a camp) and I sorta smelled hot brakes but not to strong. We turned back as it was getting sorta late and I didnt want to be riding in the dark. I stopped again cus I kept smelling hot brakes... I looked at my four wheeler and it was fine, then look at em's and saw that it was still set. Then looked back to see the rear brake smoking. Lovely. I was freaking, here I am borrowing Dad's four wheelers and I am already messing them up on the first day. After releasing the brakes, we rode back up to the river and then the temp light came on. I started freaking out more, thinking of cracked blocks, messed up heads, so on...rode my four wheeler back to the cabin, left em at the other one, got the truck and trailer and came down to load up what we thought was the hot four wheeler. Only to realize...*total duh moment* that when you turn the key to on position, and before you actually start the four wheeler that the temp oil light automatically comes on. By this point, I was ready to go home. It was very daunting for me...I have always had my dad, then Damon to take care of me when we went and did things like this. Not that I am a wimp, or not used to country life or living...but I have had someone there to reassure me and help when things went wrong. Emily was in a new element and I was the one put in the position to take care of things. She did really well, and got pretty comfy on the four wheeler after day one. Back to being scared, it was hard being the one in charge, and actually made miss Damon even more. I missed feeling protected, but then I had to remember, I have God. He's all seeing, and more powerful than Damon or my Dad could ever be, I had to keep reminding myself that. That was Issue two, and thank the Lord it got taken care of too! Sunday started out waaaaaaaaaaay better. We went to the little mountain church at the base of the mountain, they were very sincere, and it was nice to meet new people. After that we went into cascade and got some groceries that we had forgotten after buying the day before we left. We had to REBUY ...grr Kasey...lol. We got pizza for lunch, YUM. It was sooo good. Then we came back to the cabin and rode the four wheelers for a bit longer, and it started to RAIN RAIN RAIN. We were riding back and it started to rain fairly hard, brrr. It even hailed at one point. Needless to say we went through about 5 movies that night. Oh and we had a fire each night, so relaxing. I love the smoke smell when you go outside. Something about mountain air and smoke. They should make candle if they could ever make it smell real. I would buy that baby up! Now to Monday, today...we got up and had waffles, again...had them for breakfast the Sunday too. I made fried eggs, YUM. We started cleaning the cabin up, then rode for another couple of hours I think. Maybe less. Came back, had sandwiches, finished cleaning. Loaded the four wheelers, without any ramp issues. Made our way for home about two o clock and here we are. It was a good long weekend. I am glad to be home, though them there mountains, sho nuff is purty! ;) like that english of mine!?!