Experience is a teacher, that you don't realize the lesson until many miles down lifes road.
Tonight I was reading my old blogs from 2006 and it is odd to see what a different person I am now. On some points I feel its a good change, on other points not as good. We as human beings, or maybe just me, don't realize how good we have things, until the situation changes. I appreciate all the Lord has done for me. I am thankful that I experienced truly deep, wonderful, life changing, amazing love, that Damon and I shared. I truly could not have asked for more, when it comes to my husband. He fulfilled everything my heart could have hoped more, and so much more I didn't even realize I desired. It still seems soooo odd that he is not here, but in heaven. Maybe that will never seem normal, until I myself make it. Every day in life is precious and counts. Counts for daily happiness, for daily light to this dark world, counts for your life, counts for eternity. So cherish, love deeply, live for Jesus, the rest will take care of itself.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Nostalgic
Posted by Kasey at 10:18 PM
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2 comments:
I've done that very thing. Looked at all my old blogs where I talked about being upset with Brad. Most of them were good posts about a date we had our a conversation that we had.
I went over there yesterday and spent a couple of hours with him. We were listening to the beatles and Kelly, his nurse, was going over some words with him and I was holding his hand. I was standing there next to him and holding his hand and just thinking "Can this just be a really bad dream and I wake up and everthing is back to normal." I seriously considered it was just a bad dream. I do that all the time. Everyday it still feels unreal and I start to get sad but then kick myself because being sad doesn't help anything- me or him. So I put a smile on my face. I learned a new word yesterday in SS. Despondency. I had never used that word before. And I got scared and thought- have I gotten despondent towards Brad's situation? Because I push my true feelings away? But I don't think it's the same thing. God told me to think on things that are lovely. And the fact that I got to love him in a special way for so long and now love him in a little bit of a different way it's something to make me smile not cry.
I think it's always going to be hard- unreal- unfair (in our minds) but He has given us so much I can't help but smile.
I'm praying for you. Pray for me too ^^ I love you. 23 more days!
emilou, i love you and appreciate you, very much, i am despondant that you are not here yet! gram katie
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