OOOOOOOOh!!!!!!

I REALLY need ssom prayer right now. I am trying to close on my house, and am having a LOT of trouble with the loan. It being a first time buyer thing, they are requiring so much paperwork. I have had my closing pushed back twice now. Please pray for me. I dont want to complain, but I am overwhelmed by all of this! Please please please, pray for it to be done soon.

Oh Boy!

Today Aaron T. graduates from high school, and from my alma matta. If you can call a high school that. Gotta leave by 7 to get there halfway on time. Its about 15minutes away, but who knows the traffic I will be dealing with. I cannot believe that kid is graduating! I was his sunday school teacher long long ago. Man, that makes me feel so old. I know, 25, and I feel old...most of you will tell me to hush. But seriously, it is weird when you start referring to young people as kids and what you did back then, and even...how cheap gas was when you were young. I wish him all the best in this new phase of life though!

I have been physically laboring in my yard for the past four days, and I tell ya, a body goes to sleep much easier at night when you are dog tired. We, my parents and I, hand dug my parking area for Damon's trailer, its about 11 foot wide by 15 feet long, and we dug it about four inches down. Thats tough stuff. Thank the Lord He gave us the strength needed and we got it done. Thanks mom and dad! Tonight, before the graduation, I am supposed to be trying to get another part of my landscaping done. I wanted it done for when Emily gets here, but I don't see that happening.

Speaking of Emily, she gets here tonight. I am excited!! Well, I better get off here. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Big Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow I have some more house stuff going on. I will be TRYING to finish the landscaping. I tell you, it has been a long, tiring, and sore process. :) Sore and tired on the body, and a long time comin' on completion! Anyway, my cousin and her hubby are coming to help again, and another family friend of mine. HOPEFULLY, we shall get it done! I feel like a grown up sort of. Not that I didn't before, but truly I could NEVER be where I am at this point in my life without God's wonderful grace and mercy. It is simply amazing to me. Not only has He saw me through the time of losing Damon, and the continual healing of my heart (which I have learned the pain never goes away or is easier, it is just less frequent, as Brother Steve would say), but I am a woman, a child of the King, who owns her own house. An only child, who didn't like ever being alone, and here I am, in this house, all by myself. You cannot tell me that isn't God. Miracle Worker, He is! Now, it's not my ideal situation, but God has blessed me on this new path. In a heartbeat, well less than a heart beat, I would have my sweet husband back and live in a shack in timbucktwo, just to be with Damon. But that is obviously not God's will at this point. For a time, a season, I was Damon's wife and helpmeet, it was completely wonderful and joyous, yes there were hard times, but they taught us about life and the Lord. Now, this time, is the time to plant I feel...I am with the Lord's guiding Hand, planting or He is planting me, in a new garden of life. I want to be able to grow wherever He chooses to put me.

Well, I need to vacuum, so good night.

Memories

I want to start some type of new tradition. I read Crystals blog tonight and it brought back a great memory from her and em's apt.. We had made a donut run I believe, healthy I know...I think it was emily, megan, and I. Or maybe Crystal, Em and I. I don't know...anyway whoever it was, we were walking from the apartment to get into the car and all the sudden, outa nowhere this cat starts meowing really loud and coming after us, pretty fast. It was kinda freaky! Not like a normal hi kitty kitty, but either I am really hungry please feed me cat, or a cat with rabies. So, when I went to leave that night to head home, I had crystal walk me to my car because I was scared to go out into the dark with "that cat" around. Poor kitty, I hope it was okay, and simply was friendly. Not hungry or sick. Anyway, that was just a funny memory I wanted to share. I thought it might be cool (back to the new tradition part) to start posting random memories on my blog.

Today was really busy. I am totally tired and ready for bed. Momma spent the night last night, and got up early to help me with my yard and finish the landscaping. The last three days have been working on my yard for some amount of time and in some way. My body is sore, and i am sunburned, but thankful to have a place to call my own. It's slowly coming together. I am hoping to have it done before Thursday, we shall see.

Had a Memorial Day BBQ today. The chicken was sooo yummy. I marinated it all morning, and that charcoal adds a grrrreat flavor. I even cooked some onions in foil over the grill. YUM YUM. My cousin and I made a flag cake. The frosting on that thing, man, or should I say, SHEW. Good stuff.

I am missing my husband right now. He, besides the Lord, was my everything. God, Damon and my Family. I won't complain, God saw fit to give Damon his reward sooner than I had planned, and I know God makes special provision for me, so I am truly thankful. He saw before I ever was born that I would have the PRIVILEGE to marry that wonderful man, and also to be his widow. For som reason He saw fit for me to go through this, and He PROMISES us He will NEVER give us more than we can take, so I know I will make it, and God has been super gracious through this time. I also know, God understands that this is natural to miss my sweet Damon. So, I do, I miss him with all of my heart and soul. I miss his love and all that he was, all that we were as one. I gave Damon my heart, actually...he stole it, the little booger. Man that boy, I love him. Mushy, yes. But still, I LOVE LOVE LOVE him. I wish he was here. Though, I think he might smack me if I prayed him back from Heaven. :)

Sore Feet, Sore Doggies, One in the Same

Sore Feet: got tired feet today from hauling the rock to put down in my flower bed areas. Man, that stuff was heavy. I used my old truck, the one Damon and I drove back to TN from Idaho when we got married. It is a 3/4 ton heavy duty diesel pickup. Another words, its a tough cookie. I got two cubic yards of river rock, and by the time I was loaded, the truck was squatted down quite a bit. Thank the Lord, my cousins Marissa and Josh, I guess Josh is a cousin-in-law, he's her husband...anyway they came over and helped me get some of it done. We had to quit because it started to rain, but wouldn't you know, two hours later it was all sunny again. I put a little more rock out, I stress the word "little". I was up until 3:30 last night, or should I say this morning....cleaning house, reading...so on. I am a total night person, I do better to get things done and stay up late then aim to get up early and try to accomplish anything. So by the time we had done laid the amount of rock we did, I was pretty tired and slept for about two and a half hours. So when I got up I laid about 5 more shovel fulls of rock and quit for the night. Its a long process. Back to the title, my feet started hurting from stooping and moving a lot, well you know how feet can also be called "doggies" that leads me to the next topic. My real doggy, Abby. She is home from the vet. They gave me instructions to keep her from running, out of water, restrict amounts of water and food to small amounts at a time. That has been a challenge, all of the above has been a challenge with this energizer bunny a.k.a. Abby. No running, yeah right, no water...leash at my parents place for now, as they have a ditch she LOVES to jump and play in. As for the food and water part, she is convinced shes starving, or atleast crazy hungry. She laps and laps water. Poor doggy. I have to tell her no this, no that. No playing Abby, No running Abby, No jumping Abby. No thats enough food Abby, Abby come here that's enough water. She must be thinking, MOM, can I do anything??? Poor baby girl. She forgets (course' I guess she can't really forget since she doesn't know I am giving her any medicine) that had I not given her the pain meds, she would be feeling everything she does. I am thankful to the Lord that she seems to be fairing well and for the most part her normal self.

Abby

Please pray for Abby today, she is getting spayed. I know it is necessary...but it breaks my heart to see them in pain. I remember when Honey came home from being fixed...ugh. It was awful. She was fine, with the exception of beeing loopey, but I didn't like seeing her like that. With the three day weekend, and Abby being a puppy, I thought this would be the best time to get this done. I get to pick her up tomorrow morning and spend the long weekend making sure she is okay.

Oh, and by the way, learned something new. If and when you melt white chocolate and try to color it, make sure you use oil based food coloring, or food coloring in powder form. I kept trying to dye mine last night and it kept seezing up. I asked Sybil and she told me to make sure it wasn't water based. I never knew that. Thought it might be useful to someone else.

Red, White, and Blue

I made chocolate covered strawberries tonight. Dipped in milk chocolate, then I put red (more like pinkish) , white, and blue drizzles over the top. I used the ghiradelli chocolate, man that stuff is rich. A lady I work with saw the strawberries a friend of mine made for me to take to the work party, and wanted to buy some for a party she is having this holiday weekend. Memorial day being a day to honor our vets, american heritage, I thought red, white, and blue would be good. Mine don't look as good as Sybils, but they are sort of pretty. Hopefully she likes them.

I REALLY need to clean my house too. I have so much to do this weekend. Whoever originally had this house did some beautiful landscaping. Then renters who didn't take care of it really let things slip. The inside of the house was amazing, and the landscaping not horrible, but trying to get it back to how good it once was is my goal. So I have lots of weed killing, raking, rock laying, etc to do on this long weekend. I am having a party in two weeks and want the place to be completely ready. I want to paint my front door red, and the inside of the house...I never realized how much fun painting was with Damon. He made it look so easy, he was so good at it, he loved it. Now it seems like more of a chore. I miss you babe.

I need to leave now, gots to be somewhere in 14 minutes. Love to all. And, just a hint...lol...you could comment if you want. :)

Time Management

Okay...I have a prayer request...I really need better time management. I don't know what it is about me, but I am horrible about this. GRRRR. I go to bed waaaay late, then get up fairly early, then don't hardly ever do a morning devotion. I did today, thank the Lord, though half asleep. I hit snooze about 5 times every morning. I just need to get myself together and manage things better. Damon and I shared the responsibilties, he took such good care of me. The Lord saw fit to relieve Damon of his earthly labors, and I know He will bless my efforts in trying to please Him even with my time. So please just pray for me in this.

Emily gets here soon! I am soo thankful she is coming. Oh, last night I looked at plane tickets about a month from now, to fly to TN for the weekend. 500-600 dollars for a plane ticket! Can you believe that?!?! I know they will be higher because of fuel, but not THAT much higher. Waah. They need to come down. Please pray they come down. I want to get to see TN and Damon's grave as soon as I can. But I need to be able to afford the ticket.

Ciao. I gotta hurry off to work.

No Worm For Me

Early birds get the worm...I am not a bird, and I didn't wake up early. Plus, I am not a fan of worms. I got to sleep in, and it felt nice. Went to bed late last night, reading my book. Woke up really early and couldnt sleep so then I read my book some more. When I did go back to sleep, I slept for a while longer. After waking up and cleaning on the kitchen a little, I headed over to Mom and Dad's and rode her horse Bobby. He really hasn't been riden seriously in about four years (since I got married), but praise the Lord, he did really well today. I prayed to be safe, for the Lord to help me, and God really did. This horse is huge, I am a tall girl, but his back is still above my eye level. If you fall from him, you fall a longggg ways. After all my nervousness, I was just thankful to God and proud of Bobby. It felt good to ride.

Tonight we went to Boise for my cousin's birthday party. Then after the festivities we went to dinner at Good wood BBQ. I will say, Idaho has nothin' on southern BBQ.

That was it for the day. I feel heavy hearted, I feel like I messed up before the Lord today. I HATE doing that. Please pray for me. I really want to please God in all I do, that is my desire. I failed today, and I need prayer to get back up and keep trying my best before Him. If I do not have God, I have nothing. If I have Him, I have everything. I have a headache and can't think of anything else to write about, so good night.

Testimony Time

I don't know who reads and doesn't read Emily's blog (live journal) but she posted about what happened to Honey last night. Mom and I were heading home from a friends house and were turning the corner pretty slowly, as I had the dogs in the bed of the truck with the camper shell on and the one side window open. I was only going about 10 miles an hour when I heard honey make the noise she usually makes when getting after Abby to leave her alone. Except it lasted longer than normal. I looked in my rear view mirror and Honey was in the road. I imediately stopped the truck and got out, I called her and she started to come to me but very slowly (understandable). She started going into shock. I freaked out, my poor baby girl fell out of the truck and I all I could think about is her going into shock, and dying on me. She then had three seizures. I had already called the vet, he asked if she was breathing normally, yes, was she bleeding, no, was she able to move, yes. He said just to watch her. She has had seizures before, she has three of them in a matter of 15 minutes, then none for another month to three months. But, because of the height of the fall, and this being my BABY...that dog is a gift from my husband, a piece of what he left me...ugh...she is part of my heart, I called him back. He was concerned whenI mentioned seizures...so he tested her eyes, and her pupils were responding a little to slowly, which meant a slight concussion. He wanted to keep her over night to monitor her. He gave her some sort of shot, I think steroids to keep the swelling on her brain (from the concussion) down, and two doses of valium to make her sleep and not try to chew on the iv. I felt so horrible, I shouldn't have had that window open. They have ridden with it open before, no problem. I just praise the Lord it wasn't on a busy street, I wasnt going any faster, and that she is okay. She is pretty much her old self right now. I love my doggy. Thank You Lord for keeping her safe. I realize that He alone kept her.

Hmmm

Don't really know what to title this, as usual. I got two new tiki torches for my back yard, except they aren't the normal tiki's, they are the polynesian style that have the huge flames. I want my back yard to feel sorta tropical-ish. Yes, in the middle of Idaho, I want hawaii. I am going to try. lol. I also watered my strawberry plants again and put up some more fencing around my garden. I got two different kinds of cucumber seeds so that I will be able to can some pickles. Never made pickles before, but sounds interesting. I feel sort of news-less. My life is blessed, I am by God's grace making it and thriving, I miss my Damon. Each day is a blessing, so praise the Lord for another day, even if it is news-less :)

Hi

Couldn't think of a better title I guess...or "hi" sounded okay.

NOT trying to be a downer, or a depresso...but I REALLY miss Damon. I have dreams about him and though I get to see him in the dreams, most of them are dealing with his asthma, and how he either knows he is going to pass on, or I am telling him that he is sick and is going to die. That was not the case in our real life, I had no idea that day would come. No idea at all. But these dreams plague me. PLEASE pray for me to have happy dreams. I know that God is the author of anything beautiful and lovely to think on, so these dreams are exactly the opposite and come from the enemy. I so wish I could see my darling husband again, I don't mean to sound sappy, but I gave him my heart. Now my heart feels almost gone. I in no way question God in that it was Damon's time to go, but that doesn't mean He doesn't understand my pain. God saw, when I was a baby growing in my mothers womb, that I would marry my sweet husband, he also saw that three years two months, and thirty days later I would be a widow and Damon would reach his ultimate goal. So I know that means there is provision made by Him for me and my heart. Part of that provision is prayer, so please just pray when you think about it. I just hurt and ache for the man of my heart.

Countdown!

Emily comes here in less than three weeks. I am so (in her word) "jazzed!" I need to get everything ready!!! Though I am 90% unpacked I still have boxes in the guest room closet, and my office closet. The only boxes in mine are things I want left packed (I think anyway). Anyway, I am just so super super excited to have here, but I guess I mentioned that already.

My house needs some cleanin' done! With starting this new job, I haven't kept it up as much as I would normally like to. Plus with getting the outside all spiffy, the inside needs a good scrubbing!! I think I shall do that here in a bit.

I planted more flowers today, still have some waiting to be planted. And, I now, officially...have a garden. I planted six strawberry plants. It's not a very big space, but I have some more room to plant a few other things, I hope to do that soon as well!

My baby girl turned 5 months old on the 8th of May. Abby is the baby girl. She is going to be sooo big. It is funny how honey puts her in her place even though Honey weighs a 1/5 of what she weighs, or less.

I got my momma some hanging baskets for her porch for Mother's Day, and a strawberry bouquet. They were covered in chocolate. SOO yummy. This morning we met my grandparents and Aunt for a Mother's Day treat as well. That was fun.

Well, I guess that is it for now. Have a great day.

A Good Devotion

WE SHOULD RECOGNIZE LIFE AS A PRECIOUS RESOURCE

Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.
Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
ECCLESIASTES 12:6,7

The silver cord, golden bowl, water jar, and pulley symbolize life's fragility. How easily death comes to us; how swiftly and unexpectedly we may return to the dust from which we came. Therefore, we should recognize life as a precious resource to be used wisely and not squandered frivolously.

I thought that was something good to think on today. I haven't had much to write about I guess. Just everday things happening lately, and I am blessed in life. I still miss my dear husband. God is good, and has done much for me, so though at times I would like to, what right do I have to grumble and complain. No right at all. I hope everyone has a great thursday, and may the Lord keep you today.

Nostalgic

Experience is a teacher, that you don't realize the lesson until many miles down lifes road.

Tonight I was reading my old blogs from 2006 and it is odd to see what a different person I am now. On some points I feel its a good change, on other points not as good. We as human beings, or maybe just me, don't realize how good we have things, until the situation changes. I appreciate all the Lord has done for me. I am thankful that I experienced truly deep, wonderful, life changing, amazing love, that Damon and I shared. I truly could not have asked for more, when it comes to my husband. He fulfilled everything my heart could have hoped more, and so much more I didn't even realize I desired. It still seems soooo odd that he is not here, but in heaven. Maybe that will never seem normal, until I myself make it. Every day in life is precious and counts. Counts for daily happiness, for daily light to this dark world, counts for your life, counts for eternity. So cherish, love deeply, live for Jesus, the rest will take care of itself.

Busy Sun Filled Day

Let my hands perform His bidding,
Let my feet run in His ways,
Let my eyes see Jesus only,
Let my lips speak forth His praise. —James

Is that not a GREAT quote!? I found that today on Our Daily Bread's website.

Today was a day, where I just plain felt like I could have done better as a human being. God help me to be and live as You would have me to. I desire this, and He sees that.

Mom and I got up early and headed out to visit my cousin at the hospital. Please pray for him, he broke his leg very severely in a motor cycle riding accident. It is nasty break, and the Lords touch would definitely be a wonderful blessing.

From there mom went to a few stores, then we went to a landscaping place and I got some flowers/grasses/bark. The rest of the day (for the most part, minus breaks) was spent fixing up the front yard with some new bushes and flowers, and bark. It looks really nice. I am so thankful to the Lord for my house, its a huge blessing and I am in awe of all He has done for me. How He has taken care of me. I am wore out, and ready for a good nights rest.

I been thinking a lot lately, or atleast more so. About Damon. Just pray for me, I really miss him.

Oh yeah...mom and I went to a scrapbooking party last night. Me the non crafter/stamper/scrapper, created 6 pages. Woo hoo. Only took me about 3 hours, but it was productive and pretty fun. I guess that is it...I hope you all have many blessings tomorrow. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Overtime

I only had to stay about 2 1/2 hours over time last night. Not to bad, but let me tell ya, I was ready to go home. For sure and for certain!

Well, its Thursday...what's that mean...another day to praise the Lord, and tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!