Tomorrow

I start my new job tomorrow at 7:30 am. Please pray for me to do well. I am always nervous starting a new job, I end up getting the hang of it eventually, its just the first couple of weeks that make me nearly sick to my stomach.

I really miss Damon. I hope people aren't sick of hearing that. I really miss everything about him, about us. I miss every day being able to come home to him and have him waiting with a smile on his face when I came through the door. I miss being able to have him hold me, while the world went away for awhile. I could have such a bad day, then put my head on his chest, he would hold me, and it would all be better. I miss HIM. He was so many things to so many people, but to me, he was everything, best friend (truly the best friend I have ever ever had on this earth), husband, provider, lover, cheer-er up-er, prayer partner, encourager, he took care of everything around the house, that is huge, having a man to take care of things for you. I never before realized it until I lost him, how much I relied on him for every day things. If something broke, he would fix it. I can fix some things, but if it's mechanical...shew, forget it. He hooked up the VCR/DVD player...I couldn't figure it out here, and had to rig up another way that he never had to do while we were married. I guess what I miss most of all, is the fact he really was my best friend. He was who I hung out with, went to the mall with, went driving with, everything. After he died, Emily and Rachel really filled in the gaps, but I never had a super close girlfriend after we got married until the time of his death, because he filled that gap too. No, I am not calling him a girl, he was just my best friend and i guess i wasn't missing out on the whole girl hang out thing. It hits me at times, that I still cannot believe he is gone. Page 4 in the blue book, (or is it 6??), Farther Along...we'll know all about it. I really miss him, but I guess you have gathered that.

In other news, I have a problem with my half marathon. I looked at the website the other day, and I missed the fact it's on a sunday! :( Now I don't know what to do, the other marathons are like a month or two away. The only other date that might work is in July. That is NOT very far away either. What to do, what to do?! The first day I started working out, it seemed sooo easy to do two miles. Every day after that it has been hard to do even one. Why is that. I guess my muscles are getting aclimated. I didn't jog on Sunday, but did yesterday. I haven't today, I can't decide if I want to jog or do a work out video. I found a website saying to run part of the time, then do cardio, then strength training. But, I don't like missing days of jogging for me personally because I feel like it puts a rut in my routine and makes it all that much easier to miss another day.

i guess that is all. Remember to pray for me tomorrow.