Knowledge

Do you ever wish that you could have known then what you know now? I do. Maybe that is why life has it's learning lessons. If we knew everything to begin with, without experiencing failures or pain, we probably would be worse off. I realize that I have made many mistakes. Many things i wish I could go back and change. One of those is a special friendship in Idaho. I had always been the girl most people knew, but few were actually "friends" or chums with. You know, the one that they hung out with after school or went to the mall with on Friday nights. So one day, I prayed for a friend. I wanted a best friend. The Lord brought Sylvia C. Hill into my life. She was truly a blessing and answer to prayer for me personally. The Lord cared even about me needing a friend, as Brother Dupre said..someone with skin on. We truly hung out, I remember one time that she spent the night and we were just talking about The Church and having ourselves a best friend moment. I remember going hiking/walking with her, going shopping and her wearing things that she never normally would have. I remember how she and I would talk of our future husbands and wedding day. Though I didnt even know of Damon at the time. I also remember the hurt I caused her, by the jealousy that she was loved more, when she came to live with my family for awhile. I wish i had handled things so differently. How I wasted that time in our lives. It put a wall in our friendship that took a long time to get over. Then Damon came into my life...and I fear that I didn't pay as much attention to her and put her on the back burner...another dumb mistake. I got married, a year and a half later, she got married...2000 miles apart, we rarely talked. What a friend I had in her. How I wish I had cherished and held on that original care free best sisterchick relationship we had. I miss her now, what we had. I need a girlfriend. I wish I had known then, what I know now. Currently I am trying to rebuild the bridges of our friendship, though it would have been much easier to just not have gone through all this to begin with. Yet as I said earlier, maybe I had to learn this tough lesson, to know what I do now. I am so far from perfect. But I am trying to live for the Lord. He will help me to learn and grow, and hopefully not re inact my past mistakes. Lord help me to walk down the mountain with my head held high. And walk through the valley singing Your praises, head still high. In Him, I have victory, IN HIM, I have confidence. dont ever take for granted the blessings in your life. And...I need to take my own advice on this one, so I am talking to me just as much as you. good night and the Lord bless as you bless Him.