Saturday, July 17, 2010

When You're Feeling Down and Out, It's Time to Count Your Blessings...

I sing that song...tonight I am thinking about it, and the message it carries.

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever, but it's only been a few months I guess. A lot is going on these days. As usual, and I am sure that's the way it is for lots of folks.

Tonight, I am thinking about the past, the present, and the future.

I am remembering my horse Salty. She was amazing. She loved me and would do anything for me. I loved her so much, but I didn't always show it. She carried me through a lot of valleys and to lots of mountain tops. Such a good girl. So beautiful too, and I could trust her. I really miss her. My parents had to put her down a few months after I married and moved to TN, because she was injured and not getting around to well anymore. I hated leaving her, not being with her. I hope she is in heaven. It may seem like a silly request...but she was such a part of my life for a long time.

I am thinking of damon as well. It feels like another lifetime, he and I. He was such a great man. And he still lives on, his legacy, his testimony, his life it shines. He loved me. In a world where everything feels so wrong, and I feel so out of it, he was there, so true and steady. He was the greatest thing beside the Lord to ever happen to me. I miss his laugh, he had a great laugh. And, his smile...his dry humor, his jokes, the smell of paint and fresh grass, and truck parts laying around the garage, paint spatters on my freshly cleaned kitchen sink, doing his laundry, making his lunch for the next day, his scent on the pillow after he left for the day. I miss him.

My life seems like a crazy place right now. I feel poor, I have a crazy job, my spouse is gone, and I am alone in this house. A big part of me wants to cry, to wonder where my fairy tale ending went. But like the song says, when you are feeling down and out, it's time to count your blessings. So thank You Lord, for money to pay my bills, a job that puts food on my table, a godly man that I had a priviledge of knowing and loving more in three years, than most get in a life time, and a house to live in. You are good, great, and You KNOW the end from the beginning.


Gracie Lou Freebush said...

I still think and pray for you often. God allows some things to happen in our lives that make no sense at all. We grow from those tribulations, but sometimes we'll never know why He had to do what He did to get us to listen..