Yes, He Cares, About Little Things!

Guess what?! Last year for my bday, I bought myself a new digital camera, a casio something. It was cute, and blue (my favorite color), was so excited. Well, then the battery stopped working. I called Casio, they were supposed to send me a new battery because there had been lots of trouble with that battery model. Wait, wait, wait somemore...no battery. Found receipt to take camera back, but never made the shipping up to send it back to Casio. Lost receipt. Went to Idaho Camera to get new battery. NO battery. *sigh* Went to Wal-Mart today to get some photos that I had ordered, see a battery stand, would you know it??? There is my battery! Problem: where or where did I put that charger?? *Prayer* Get home, look in one room, not there. Start pulling boxes out of the other closet, about half way through, TA DA!! Battery Charger!! Status: new battery currently charging, camera, ready and waiting to be used soon! THANK YOU JESUS! I prayed to find the charger, and I found it. That is a answered prayer! WOOHOO.

A Thought for Today

"Hope can be ignited by a spark of encouragement."

Philippians 2:1-11

1If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,

2Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

3Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

4Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

5Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

6Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:

7But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

8And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

9Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:

10That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

11And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

You Know Your Domestic If...

...new vacuum excites you! I finally put together my new vacuum last night, and used it for the first time, wowza! It was so nice! Praise the Lord for helping me find the vacuum. I have such a hard time making decisions, trying to find quality without breaking the bank, and after I prayed this one nearly jumped in my lap. Okay not literally, but I know God helped me with the decision, small as it was!

I just wanted to share my excitedness over my new vacuum.

Sun, Water, and Vacuums

Got another sun burn, though not nearly as bad. Mom and Dad set up the pool they got last year, so that explains the sun and water part of the title. I didn't swim for to long, but opted to lay on the floaty and get warm under the sun. Its nice where the pool is set up, because its fairly private. It was just me and the floaty, I tried to convince mom to come swim with me, but she couldn't be won over. I wonder if its because I always try to get her hair wet whenever she swims with me. I seem to be a bit mischievious. ;)

Now to the vacuum part, while cleaning at the church the other night, my vacuum just quit. :( I thought maybe I had blown a fuse or something, but other when I brought the vacuum home it still didn't work. I am a bit sad...Damon and I bought it together (our money, I don't think he was present for the occasion), but it has already been repaired (on the chord) twice. So I went to Wal-Mart tonight and got another one. Not the same kind, this one is a bit nicer and has a better dirt removal rating, as well as longer warranty, and it is bagless. To top it off, it was on sale. I know this may sound different to some, but I prayed for the Lord to help me find the right vacuum. I didn't want to spend a lot lot lot of money, but I did want a better warranty, and better quality. This one has a better warranty than some of the other more expensive vacuums, and has a 2 point higher dirt removal rating than the one we had. So praise the Lord for a vacuum.

I am so sleepy, so good night. Remember, don't tie God's Hands by worrying, worrying is doubt...and why doubt when you serve the Creator of the Universe. :) SMILE.

Precious Jesus

Who is thankful for the Lord?? Seriously, I take Him for granted. He has rescued me from so much. I am EVER indebted to God. This world is full of people who are hurting, and lost, and truly just need Him as their savior. Every good and perfect give is from the Father, if someone treats you awful or does something to you or someone else, or something it is a result of a need for Jesus in their life. Remember to pray for all that need the Lord. Something happened today, that I saw take place near my home...that has triggered this post. I have been quite troubled since, but the reason for what I saw, sadly is sin. So I need to pray for the person involved. God help me to be a encouragement.

Supa Hot

Man it is hot here!! :) No humidity though, woohoo! I wondered why it felt so hot yesterday but thought it was only in the 90's, newp 105. No wonder :) Regional Convention started last night, and the youth did the same skit that Antioch did back when I still lived there. With the girl who is tempted by all the different things in life. I am telling you, whoever listened to the Lord to get that skit, really let themselves be used by Him. It touches anyone, I don't care where or who you are, it is real. The altars were filled and I know of one youth praying next to me, that was crying and praying before the Lord, its a beautiful site. I am sure there were more, but when you are praying yourself, you don't notice alot. While the skit was going on, two boys behind me were crying just watching, boys who "aren't supposed'" to cry. Praise the Lord, it was just as touching as when we did it in Antioch. BTW Antioch, I miss you guys!! LOVE YOU! My prayer is "Lord help us to keep this" keep this closeness, this realization that God You care for us and will help us through any situation if we will but let You! That YOU are more important, seriously, than anything this life will try to offer. Life and the world will SHOVE things in your face, try to shove them down your throat, but by the power of Jesus, we don't have to take it! WOOT

Have a good day, my cold is a little better, thank the Lord!

I hear you

You are whispering to me right now..."come get in" "oh don't those sheets feel snuggly soft and relaxing". yes, my bed is talking to me right now. I am ready for sleepy night night.

**side note** I have noticed i am not good at capitalization anymore. *sigh*

PLEASE pray for me. I am sick, just a little cold, but I would desire your prayers.

drawing a blank, so, good night. God be with you.

At The Cross

I was eating my cereal this morning and because I am out of my Dole Juice (sad tear), I got a glass of ice water. I just looked over and the ice is formed in the shape of a cross. Is that not cool! Thank You Jesus for a little ray of SONshine for today! I thought that was cool!

So Good To Be Home

Today was a long day. I am so glad to be home!! Work was hectic and stressful today, but thank the Lord for a job right! I have to register Damon's truck soon, it was due today, but I didn't have all the info I needed (thought I did) so had to get a temporary registration. I started having a moment at the license bureau, it's hard taking that TN license plate and putting something else in its place (I haven't done it yet though) it really reminds you again, that Damon's really gone. I am glad for him though, he's made his goal. I had leftover breadsticks for dinner. I have found that since Damon made Heaven, I don't have much of a desire to cook like I used to. So I eat left overs, or frozen dinners, or go out. Mom and I had Papa Murphys pizza last night, so today I had pizza for lunch and breadsticks for dinner. So healthy, right? I digress. lol. Oh and guess what!! I found out my super cool, super cute neighbors (they are the cutest family!) have a blog!! Yay. One more blog friend. I am glad for good neighbors, praise the Lord! Thats a huge blessing and relief to trust who lives next to you, to keep an eye on things if you ever need it. Although, I wonder if they will ever want any cake from me (inside joke) eh Becky?! Well, that is all! Reporting from: my couch....ahhhh *relaxation*

Worry Vs. Prayer

Why is it so simple for me to worry before praying?? Yet I find it odd to stop, drop, and pray before worrying?? Ha, I like that, stop, drop, and pray. Amen Lord, help me to do so! We all have sooo many situations in each of our lives. Some are huge, some are small, but in our lives everything matters to us. Big or small. I am by nature a thinker, a ponderer, a figure everything out person. I think that before the Lord, a balance of this nature is a good thing, but when I let it get the best of me and get extreme its dangerous. As I was thinking about things today, the thought came to be that God has it ALL under control. If I am following Him, He has everything in His hands. I am so a "now" girl, if my prayer doesn't come true instantly I wonder what is wrong, why me, why this or that?! I know we are human, so we have moments of weakness, but I want to press toward the mark of the high calling of Christ, so I want to be better about this, perfect practice makes perfect.

Today was a busy day at work, when I got home momma and I visited for awhile, then I got dinner and took it to her and dad's house. Mom and Dad's neighbor then called me over (He was outside cooking at his grill) and asked me if I wanted a burger. I told him I had just eaten, but he kept asking...so I took it home. Mom says his way of loving is feeding you. He's a funny guy. His son and his son's friend were outside eating, so I talked to them for a bit too. Went back to moms and watched TV with her for a while. Thats about all to my day.

Prayer request, my neighbors decided not to keep the kitten, but they will foster it until they or I can find a home for him. So please say a little prayer for him to find a home. He has had such a rough start, he needs a family.

Oh and I am starting to get sick, please pray for me. I took three echinacea tonight, hopefully that will help the immune system.

Month End

Today is month end at work, I hope we get done at a good hour. I am so sleepy. It would be better for me to go to bed earlier, worked on that a bit last week, need to keep itup.

My neighbors are doing a test run on the kitten. My OTHER neighbors. Got him from the ones on the left of me, the ones on the right would make him a great home. They have kids, and want to see how there girls would do, among other things. So hopefully he husband will say yes, I know he would have a good home there.

Praise the Lord for another day, have a good one.

FRUSTRATED!

OoooooooooooH!!!!!!!!!!!! I am TIRED TIRED TIRED of my self. Seriously....I wish I could for once react right to things. I am ready to cry, again.

Me neighbors found a kitten a some fishing ponds, it had a hook in its mouth, nose was bleeding, was near death as they described it. So, I took it up on myself to find him a home. Lady at work said she would take him, pick him up today, so he has been at my house since Friday I think, maybe Thursday waiting for his new mommy. A, he is soooo cute, and I felt sorry for him. But, I do NOT want another cat. So I was super excited to find him a home. She calls me today, she can't take the cat. I have turned down another person because I told this lady yes. So now, I am trying frantically to get ahold of the other person to see if they still want him. I know she can't help it, and she really wanted him, but I am ready for him to go. I feel so sorry for him and how his life has started, and he is doing so much better now. So if I cant get ahold of the other person by tomorrow and they dont want him, I am going to have to take him to pet haven, its a no kill adoption place. Please pray for him to find a home.

I sang at a wedding yesterday, God blessed the broken road, by Rascall Flatts. The wedding was pretty, and the bride beautiful. Pray for the new couple. They needs the fullness of the Lord. After the wedding I headed up to Cascade for the tail end of camp. The Lord really moved, and it was a blessing to be there. I was sad to come home. Then the news of the cat pushed me over the edge. I wish I would respond to things better. God help me to be a better person for You.

Date Night

I had a date with my Daddy tonight! Momma is out of town and she told me to take care of dad while she was gone, so I called him while I was at work today to see if he would like to go to dinner tonight! He said yes. So we went to this new pizza place by my house. I am glad for tonight, it kinda was a new door to our relationship. My dad and I have a good relationship, but its weird...I still feel little around him. Tonight it was like I was a grown up, talking about grown up things. He even dressed up and combed his hair, like when he goes out somewhere nice. My dad is a total t shirt and jeans guy, most times he is at work, or outside working in the garden or doing something. It was cool to see him get all spiffy for our little night out. Praise the Lord.

Oui Vei

I got a sunburn!!! :( OUCH. In hopes of getting a tan, I put tanning oil on, but it had sunscreen in it. Enough so that I THOUGHT I was protected. I am so burnt. Last night I woke up and started crying cus it hurt so bad to lay down. I almost called my momma. I feel so dumb and do not plan on doing that again!

I keep looking at Damons picture at my desk at work, I really really really miss him. *sigh* He is in heaven and so happy, so I need to try to be happy as well. God has been so good to me, I have nothing to complain about. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord.

I guess that is all...I am hungry so I need to cook something. Pizza sounds so much better though.

Headache

Well...where to begin. I had some freakout moments on Thursday. But, that was due to me not relyin on the Lord fully. When I let Him help me, it is so much easier, when I wallow in self pity...thats when things get hairy. Since then, I closed on my house. Want to hear something weird??? Because I moved to Idaho before finding a job, I did a lease purchase option on my home, that way I could find a position then work on financing. I stepped into my house for the very first time, on February 19th, the 8 month anniversary of Damon's promotion. I CLOSED on my house June 19th, the one year anniversary of his promotion. I think that is so weird, in a good way. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, Damon would like this house. The only thing that would make it better would be to have him here. I have had many ups and downs since Damon moved to Heaven, but through it all, the Lord has guided me and carried me. From sobbing mess, to even some joyous times. I love you Damon, I always will. I am so glad to be done with the house buying process. Thank the Lord.

Today, we had a yard sale. I got some sun, my feet have a great flip flop tan line. Been building that line on my feeties for a couple of months now. I figure if I keep working on it, I can go into a store with the no shoes policy, not wearing shoes, and no one will notice. I will just look like I am wearing white flip flops. HA, that would be funny. No, doesn't take much to amuse me. Well, I am sleepy and want to be off of here.

Thanks

Thank you for all of your support this day. For the cards, texts, voicemails, comments. God bless you for your care. I have done okay today, but I was looking at the pictures on Rachel's blogs...I busted out. I miss him. I really really miss him. His laugh, it made everyone laugh. I miss him, all of him. Goodness...

To all of Damon's and My family. I love you and pray for your hearts this day.

My Heart is in His Hands

The Riddell Family sent me a poem in my care package last week. I wanted to share it today, being the day that one year ago, the wife side of me had to let my husband go, yet the spiritual side of me realized where my brother in Christ now resided.

I don't know who wrote the poem, if Rachel did, or she found it...its based off of Proverbs 3:5,6

I held my heart so close to me
Bidding no one interfere
With the plans I laid so carefully
And the dreamsI held so near

But my fragile fingers couldn't hold
THe things so dear to me
They slipped right through
Before I knew
The pieces were at my feeet

Through my tears I heard a Voice
So gentle and so sweet
He did not scold, He simply said,
"Give the pieces to me."

I gave to Himmy shattered heart
He tookd it, and with a smile
Fashioend the pieces into something
A little more worthwhile

All the dreams I once had loved
Seemed small compared to this.
My plans were all so commonplace
When compared to His

Now I'm resting peacefully
Now I understand
I know my life is in His control
And my heart is in His hands.

Aside from my experiences with the Lord, Damon is the single greatest thing to EVER happen to and in my life. He took me and loved me, just as I was. He saw beautiful in me. All of my quirks, all of my little insanities, he still loved me and cared for me. He was my very best friend, the best friend I have ever had. We could talk about our fears, dreams, worries, inspirations...anything. It is still so hard for me to realize Damon is gone. He isn't dead, he is alive and well in Heaven. He made it to my goal destination. I know God didn't take Damon to leave me, or all of our family desolate. That, truly, somewhere there is a big plan that is greater than we all could have imagined. Until I see that plan, or even if I never see it, I want to live my life in a way that God is pleased and Damon would be proud of me. I have never stopped missing him, nor loving him. As his wife, I wish with all of my heart, he was here. But I am so glad he made it, that was his number one goal in life, to make it to Heaven and to be a light to this world while he was here. He accomplished all he set out to do, all the Lord had for him.

To my Heart's True Love,

I love you. I miss you. I will see you again. You are beautiful to me, in every way. You are my best friend, and I will always be grateful to you and the Lord. The Lord used you to affect my heart for all of eternity, and I am indebted to His goodness for this. Thank you for loving me. I was truly the most blessed woman in all of the world, to have been your wife.

I love you always and forever,
Your Bride- Kasey

Ugh

I don't even know what to feel. I am plumb wore out emotionally. I just need prayer..please. please please.

Bedtime

It was so easy, to be young and have a bed time. Now that I am an adult, I TRY to be in bed by 10...doesn't happen. I need to be my own mommy and make myself go to bed at night. I mowed my yard tonight, and fertilized it, well only half of it. I REALLy need to clean the house...just lacking motivation. I need to do laundry too. So much to do, so little time.

Thank the Lord, these past few days have been much better. I was pretty depressed/down last week. Pray for me these next few days though, especially Thursday. God can make that day okay for me and for Damon and me's family. Should that be Damon and I or Damon and me??I don't know.

Check out the desolate recipe blog, Rachel posted a recipe, that sounds uber yummy. I want to try it.

My subdivision is having a yard sale this weekend, I need to get some stuff out there. It would be good to get rid of some things. I almost got hit tonight! Ugh! This big van came across the line and I didn't even see him, mom was with me and she made that noise, the noise that scares the fire out of you. You don't know what is wrong, but you know SOMETHING is wrong. He was within 6 inches of me. I looked in the mirror right after the van passed and he was still on my side of the road. Thank the Lord, He kept us safe.

Please pray for a family friend, I mentioned them last week, well the just lost a family member at a very young age. My friend is taking it pretty hard. Please pray for him, and the whole family.

Grrrrr, that camera chord!

I left it, again!!!! I left it at my aunt's house. *sigh*. Today was family day. We had a picnic/bbq/outdoor party thing in honor of my Uncle Mark, who is in from Virginia. He is in the Army and isn't in Idaho much, they came up for a week. So Grandma had a party. I have been dubbed the family photographer. I left the camera bad, which has my chord, at my Aunt's though, and I neeeed it so I can send some photos to some second cousins. I got some sun today, shew. You know that "hot" feeling after getting to much sun. I got it.

We went to the zoo this morning too...it wasn't as cool as I remembered. It seemed so big when I was little, and now it seems so tiny. It was nice to take my young cousin's though.

I am thinking of having a fourth of July picnic/bbq for the family at my house. I love to entertain, so hopefully it will all work out.

I have three apple trees in my back yard, and I went to Joanns today to get some fabric to reapholster my outdoor chairs, and they had their summer stuff on sale 50 % off. So I got this cuuuute little sign that says, u pick apples, 5 cents. I am going to hang it buy the trees, and put out a little bucket, get my five cents worth ;).

I got a care package from my Antioch family today, I LOOVED it. I cried. I miss you guys so much. You truly have a huge place in my heart. I miss you!! Hi Morgan Taylor Fox!

My Cousin

Here is a picture of one of my Cousins, Troy. He and I grew up together, and out of all my cousins (we were the closest in age), spent the most time together. He is a really big encourager, and one of the sweetest people I know. I am so thankful he has been here to help me in the new transition of my life, back in Idaho. I love you Troy!!

Melancholy

I been feeling very melancholy lately. I think about others, who have it much worse than I. Who have lost their husband, have children, and were kicked out of their home. I know I am a very blessed woman. I am near family again, I have a home of my own, I am not wanting for anything. But I have realized more than ever, since Damon's death, that all these "things" I have (with the exception of the family part I just mentioned...I am talking material wise) don't make me happy. Yes, they are nice, but they are not my happiness. God is my first happiness, but that part of humans He created, the part that he filled with Eve for Adam...feels so empty. I realized I have had many blessed moments, and times of happiness since Damon went Home, but my happiness that I had when I was his wife and helpmeet, I miss it. I don't ever want to complain. The Bible says to be content in what so ever state I am in, I want to be that way. Please pray for me to be pleasing to the Lord in this area. Pray for my work situation. I am having to deal with some people, that truly need the Lord. They are outright rude to me. I want to shine the Lord to them, not respond. I don't want to come off as ungrateful or whining, but I am at a point right now, where I really need the Lord to intervene, and in that process, I need to do my best to please Him in my actions and efforts.

In Need of Prayer

I am requesting prayer for some family friends, they just lost their neice/daughter/sister/cousin to cancer. She was in her early twenties. Please pray for this young woman's husband right now as well.

One Year

Please pray for me...the closer next thursday gets, the more sad I become. Next thursday, June 19th will be one year since Damon passed. I have never liked to use the word "died" because he isn't dead. He is alive and well, in Heaven. On my calendar, I have it marked as his one year promotion anniversary. As happy as I am for him with the spiritual side of me, the wife side of me...my heart beat feels nearly gone. I loved him so much, and love him to this day. I will never forget how he let the Lord use him to affect my heart for eternity. I love my dear husband, and I miss him. I know there was a bigger plan. But as that day nears, please please pray for me. I love you Damon Broyles, forever and always. I will always be your Kissy.

Quiet Quiet

This house is so quiet again. Not that you're loud Em...just was nice having someone else here. I miss her a lot. I wasn't sad yesterday, or really even this morning...but when I woke up this morning after getting back from the airport and going back to sleep...I was sad. I forgot my phone charger at the cabin, and went up to get it, Emily wasn't there, and it felt empty sort of. I just miss you Emily! :'(

Time seemed to fly so fast while she was here. There wasn't enough of it to get everything accomplished. I am just glad she is making it home to her momma in one piece!!! haha

Tomorrow I have something to do, but cant seem to remember. I know one thing, I need to go to bed earlier than later tonight. I miss you Emily.

Success

I had a Luau in honor of Emily tonight. It was a success, and the food was fabulous. A friend of mine recommended a hawaiian bbq place she found. YUM. I didnt even know a place existed. But I am so thankful I found it, praise the Lord. The Bible says every good gift is from God, and that was a good gift. I had part of moms side of the family, and part of dads, some church friends, and some neighbors. It was quite a gathering and lots of fun! I don't think it has hit me yet that em leaves soon. My dogs are howlin, aka feet hurting. Good night. Pray for me, feeling down. I seem to make a certain mistake over and over. I don't want to choose anything before my God.

All Night

No interuptions from the smoke alarm, allllll night!!! WOOHOO! Praise the Lord!

Today we get a pizza party at work, double woohoo!

Tonight is busy with riding horses, and planning for tomorrow.

Have a good day

Positively Confused

Stopped by the fire station...the fireman dudes came here and installed new batteries in all my smoke detectors. 30 minutes later, it went off again. I must just have a bad one. :(

Midnight Cry

The smoke alarms just started going off in my house. Around 2:45 am. I don't smell smoke. I don't know why they would go off. They have stopped now, but that is really bugging me that they even started for what seems to be no reason. I saw that the alarm in the hall way, it's green light wasn't coming on at all, where as the others flash on and off. But they aren't battery operated, battery back up, but not operated solely. I am freaking out. I want Damon, I want my Mommy. I HAVE to remember to lean on the Lord. Sometimes being an adult is so scary.

Them going off like that, really reminded me of the rapture. It will happen in the blink of an eye. In the twinkling of a moment. Dear Lord let me not be found spiritually asleep, let me be ready and waiting. I don't want to be found sleeping and wake up like I did tonight, surprised and wondering what and why was that alarm going off.

Four Wheeling Adventures

I called my cousin Troy, before Emily even got here, to see if he could take us four wheeling. He knows trails, directions, etc. ...that I would be incompetent by myself. So today was the day. We headed to an area I think is called Willow Creek and rode trail 300, 540, and 500. Emily was a trooper and did really well for her first time at serious riding. She was un accustomed to a lot that riding entails, but by the end of the day was smiling and I believe having a good time as she was way more comfortable. I know I kept praying for her to have a good time. It started out rocky, as the trail, though rated beginner, had some pretty sharp turns to deal with. She ended up with the four wheeler on its side, but no worries...wasn't hurt. I think that scared her for some of the other stuff that came later on. It was all in all a fairly good trail. A few areas got pretty uneven, so it made you feel like you were gonna flip over. That is the part I don't like. YUCK. It rained all day, more heavily at the end, and we were soaked by the time we got back. I really had fun today. I only wish it wouldn't have rained so much. I am glad Emily ended up having a good time.

Blessing for today, safety, and my cousin Troy.

Pik-chas

Round Valley Area, close to Cascade Idaho. I think it a beautiful peace of earth.

Picteresque Round Valley

Truck and trailer at cabin

Emily, early morning, far right.

I thought this to be another neato picture.

This is right outside my grand parents cabin, it stays foggy until about 8:45...thought it was a neat pic.

Kayker on the Payette River....one word: CRAZY. No way is this my cup of tea...

Emily gazing out. :) Trying to look nonchalant

I thought this was a cool shot of the train.

Scenic Train Ride, front of the train.

Abby with a muddy nose, after trying to dig something up. Note the scarf she is wearing. :)

View from my back yard...thats the flag above the Middle School

Abby giving me loves...love that face eh?

Home

We are home. Emily and I headed up Saturday morning to my grandparents cabin. Its in a little town about an 1 1/2 hours away, the cabin is fairly close to the river too, makes for some gorgeous views. I will start off by thanking the Lord for His protection. Issue number one: While unloading the second four wheeler (ATV) the ramp slipped and fell, thus leaving the four wheeler hanging about 4-5 inches off the ground. Tried and tried to lift it back up on the trailer. It was resting right at the base of the axel and the guard plate, not good for trying to move something. Finally went down the mountain to another cabin and got some help. Issue one: fixed. Issue two: hot brakes. *sigh* lol. Emily had never really been on a four wheeler, so she didn't know to release the brake I had set. Its something that if you didn't know much about the four wheeler, you would miss very easily. I had set it because that area it very hilly, and I didn't want to play "chase the fourwheeler." However I forgot to RELEASE the brake when we actually started to ride. We got down to where the road curves to head up to Packer John (thats a camp) and I sorta smelled hot brakes but not to strong. We turned back as it was getting sorta late and I didnt want to be riding in the dark. I stopped again cus I kept smelling hot brakes... I looked at my four wheeler and it was fine, then look at em's and saw that it was still set. Then looked back to see the rear brake smoking. Lovely. I was freaking, here I am borrowing Dad's four wheelers and I am already messing them up on the first day. After releasing the brakes, we rode back up to the river and then the temp light came on. I started freaking out more, thinking of cracked blocks, messed up heads, so on...rode my four wheeler back to the cabin, left em at the other one, got the truck and trailer and came down to load up what we thought was the hot four wheeler. Only to realize...*total duh moment* that when you turn the key to on position, and before you actually start the four wheeler that the temp oil light automatically comes on. By this point, I was ready to go home. It was very daunting for me...I have always had my dad, then Damon to take care of me when we went and did things like this. Not that I am a wimp, or not used to country life or living...but I have had someone there to reassure me and help when things went wrong. Emily was in a new element and I was the one put in the position to take care of things. She did really well, and got pretty comfy on the four wheeler after day one. Back to being scared, it was hard being the one in charge, and actually made miss Damon even more. I missed feeling protected, but then I had to remember, I have God. He's all seeing, and more powerful than Damon or my Dad could ever be, I had to keep reminding myself that. That was Issue two, and thank the Lord it got taken care of too! Sunday started out waaaaaaaaaaay better. We went to the little mountain church at the base of the mountain, they were very sincere, and it was nice to meet new people. After that we went into cascade and got some groceries that we had forgotten after buying the day before we left. We had to REBUY ...grr Kasey...lol. We got pizza for lunch, YUM. It was sooo good. Then we came back to the cabin and rode the four wheelers for a bit longer, and it started to RAIN RAIN RAIN. We were riding back and it started to rain fairly hard, brrr. It even hailed at one point. Needless to say we went through about 5 movies that night. Oh and we had a fire each night, so relaxing. I love the smoke smell when you go outside. Something about mountain air and smoke. They should make candle if they could ever make it smell real. I would buy that baby up! Now to Monday, today...we got up and had waffles, again...had them for breakfast the Sunday too. I made fried eggs, YUM. We started cleaning the cabin up, then rode for another couple of hours I think. Maybe less. Came back, had sandwiches, finished cleaning. Loaded the four wheelers, without any ramp issues. Made our way for home about two o clock and here we are. It was a good long weekend. I am glad to be home, though them there mountains, sho nuff is purty! ;) like that english of mine!?!

OOOOOOOOh!!!!!!

I REALLY need ssom prayer right now. I am trying to close on my house, and am having a LOT of trouble with the loan. It being a first time buyer thing, they are requiring so much paperwork. I have had my closing pushed back twice now. Please pray for me. I dont want to complain, but I am overwhelmed by all of this! Please please please, pray for it to be done soon.

Oh Boy!

Today Aaron T. graduates from high school, and from my alma matta. If you can call a high school that. Gotta leave by 7 to get there halfway on time. Its about 15minutes away, but who knows the traffic I will be dealing with. I cannot believe that kid is graduating! I was his sunday school teacher long long ago. Man, that makes me feel so old. I know, 25, and I feel old...most of you will tell me to hush. But seriously, it is weird when you start referring to young people as kids and what you did back then, and even...how cheap gas was when you were young. I wish him all the best in this new phase of life though!

I have been physically laboring in my yard for the past four days, and I tell ya, a body goes to sleep much easier at night when you are dog tired. We, my parents and I, hand dug my parking area for Damon's trailer, its about 11 foot wide by 15 feet long, and we dug it about four inches down. Thats tough stuff. Thank the Lord He gave us the strength needed and we got it done. Thanks mom and dad! Tonight, before the graduation, I am supposed to be trying to get another part of my landscaping done. I wanted it done for when Emily gets here, but I don't see that happening.

Speaking of Emily, she gets here tonight. I am excited!! Well, I better get off here. Have a blessed day in the Lord!

Big Day Tomorrow

Tomorrow I have some more house stuff going on. I will be TRYING to finish the landscaping. I tell you, it has been a long, tiring, and sore process. :) Sore and tired on the body, and a long time comin' on completion! Anyway, my cousin and her hubby are coming to help again, and another family friend of mine. HOPEFULLY, we shall get it done! I feel like a grown up sort of. Not that I didn't before, but truly I could NEVER be where I am at this point in my life without God's wonderful grace and mercy. It is simply amazing to me. Not only has He saw me through the time of losing Damon, and the continual healing of my heart (which I have learned the pain never goes away or is easier, it is just less frequent, as Brother Steve would say), but I am a woman, a child of the King, who owns her own house. An only child, who didn't like ever being alone, and here I am, in this house, all by myself. You cannot tell me that isn't God. Miracle Worker, He is! Now, it's not my ideal situation, but God has blessed me on this new path. In a heartbeat, well less than a heart beat, I would have my sweet husband back and live in a shack in timbucktwo, just to be with Damon. But that is obviously not God's will at this point. For a time, a season, I was Damon's wife and helpmeet, it was completely wonderful and joyous, yes there were hard times, but they taught us about life and the Lord. Now, this time, is the time to plant I feel...I am with the Lord's guiding Hand, planting or He is planting me, in a new garden of life. I want to be able to grow wherever He chooses to put me.

Well, I need to vacuum, so good night.

Memories

I want to start some type of new tradition. I read Crystals blog tonight and it brought back a great memory from her and em's apt.. We had made a donut run I believe, healthy I know...I think it was emily, megan, and I. Or maybe Crystal, Em and I. I don't know...anyway whoever it was, we were walking from the apartment to get into the car and all the sudden, outa nowhere this cat starts meowing really loud and coming after us, pretty fast. It was kinda freaky! Not like a normal hi kitty kitty, but either I am really hungry please feed me cat, or a cat with rabies. So, when I went to leave that night to head home, I had crystal walk me to my car because I was scared to go out into the dark with "that cat" around. Poor kitty, I hope it was okay, and simply was friendly. Not hungry or sick. Anyway, that was just a funny memory I wanted to share. I thought it might be cool (back to the new tradition part) to start posting random memories on my blog.

Today was really busy. I am totally tired and ready for bed. Momma spent the night last night, and got up early to help me with my yard and finish the landscaping. The last three days have been working on my yard for some amount of time and in some way. My body is sore, and i am sunburned, but thankful to have a place to call my own. It's slowly coming together. I am hoping to have it done before Thursday, we shall see.

Had a Memorial Day BBQ today. The chicken was sooo yummy. I marinated it all morning, and that charcoal adds a grrrreat flavor. I even cooked some onions in foil over the grill. YUM YUM. My cousin and I made a flag cake. The frosting on that thing, man, or should I say, SHEW. Good stuff.

I am missing my husband right now. He, besides the Lord, was my everything. God, Damon and my Family. I won't complain, God saw fit to give Damon his reward sooner than I had planned, and I know God makes special provision for me, so I am truly thankful. He saw before I ever was born that I would have the PRIVILEGE to marry that wonderful man, and also to be his widow. For som reason He saw fit for me to go through this, and He PROMISES us He will NEVER give us more than we can take, so I know I will make it, and God has been super gracious through this time. I also know, God understands that this is natural to miss my sweet Damon. So, I do, I miss him with all of my heart and soul. I miss his love and all that he was, all that we were as one. I gave Damon my heart, actually...he stole it, the little booger. Man that boy, I love him. Mushy, yes. But still, I LOVE LOVE LOVE him. I wish he was here. Though, I think he might smack me if I prayed him back from Heaven. :)

Sore Feet, Sore Doggies, One in the Same

Sore Feet: got tired feet today from hauling the rock to put down in my flower bed areas. Man, that stuff was heavy. I used my old truck, the one Damon and I drove back to TN from Idaho when we got married. It is a 3/4 ton heavy duty diesel pickup. Another words, its a tough cookie. I got two cubic yards of river rock, and by the time I was loaded, the truck was squatted down quite a bit. Thank the Lord, my cousins Marissa and Josh, I guess Josh is a cousin-in-law, he's her husband...anyway they came over and helped me get some of it done. We had to quit because it started to rain, but wouldn't you know, two hours later it was all sunny again. I put a little more rock out, I stress the word "little". I was up until 3:30 last night, or should I say this morning....cleaning house, reading...so on. I am a total night person, I do better to get things done and stay up late then aim to get up early and try to accomplish anything. So by the time we had done laid the amount of rock we did, I was pretty tired and slept for about two and a half hours. So when I got up I laid about 5 more shovel fulls of rock and quit for the night. Its a long process. Back to the title, my feet started hurting from stooping and moving a lot, well you know how feet can also be called "doggies" that leads me to the next topic. My real doggy, Abby. She is home from the vet. They gave me instructions to keep her from running, out of water, restrict amounts of water and food to small amounts at a time. That has been a challenge, all of the above has been a challenge with this energizer bunny a.k.a. Abby. No running, yeah right, no water...leash at my parents place for now, as they have a ditch she LOVES to jump and play in. As for the food and water part, she is convinced shes starving, or atleast crazy hungry. She laps and laps water. Poor doggy. I have to tell her no this, no that. No playing Abby, No running Abby, No jumping Abby. No thats enough food Abby, Abby come here that's enough water. She must be thinking, MOM, can I do anything??? Poor baby girl. She forgets (course' I guess she can't really forget since she doesn't know I am giving her any medicine) that had I not given her the pain meds, she would be feeling everything she does. I am thankful to the Lord that she seems to be fairing well and for the most part her normal self.

Abby

Please pray for Abby today, she is getting spayed. I know it is necessary...but it breaks my heart to see them in pain. I remember when Honey came home from being fixed...ugh. It was awful. She was fine, with the exception of beeing loopey, but I didn't like seeing her like that. With the three day weekend, and Abby being a puppy, I thought this would be the best time to get this done. I get to pick her up tomorrow morning and spend the long weekend making sure she is okay.

Oh, and by the way, learned something new. If and when you melt white chocolate and try to color it, make sure you use oil based food coloring, or food coloring in powder form. I kept trying to dye mine last night and it kept seezing up. I asked Sybil and she told me to make sure it wasn't water based. I never knew that. Thought it might be useful to someone else.

Red, White, and Blue

I made chocolate covered strawberries tonight. Dipped in milk chocolate, then I put red (more like pinkish) , white, and blue drizzles over the top. I used the ghiradelli chocolate, man that stuff is rich. A lady I work with saw the strawberries a friend of mine made for me to take to the work party, and wanted to buy some for a party she is having this holiday weekend. Memorial day being a day to honor our vets, american heritage, I thought red, white, and blue would be good. Mine don't look as good as Sybils, but they are sort of pretty. Hopefully she likes them.

I REALLY need to clean my house too. I have so much to do this weekend. Whoever originally had this house did some beautiful landscaping. Then renters who didn't take care of it really let things slip. The inside of the house was amazing, and the landscaping not horrible, but trying to get it back to how good it once was is my goal. So I have lots of weed killing, raking, rock laying, etc to do on this long weekend. I am having a party in two weeks and want the place to be completely ready. I want to paint my front door red, and the inside of the house...I never realized how much fun painting was with Damon. He made it look so easy, he was so good at it, he loved it. Now it seems like more of a chore. I miss you babe.

I need to leave now, gots to be somewhere in 14 minutes. Love to all. And, just a hint...lol...you could comment if you want. :)

Time Management

Okay...I have a prayer request...I really need better time management. I don't know what it is about me, but I am horrible about this. GRRRR. I go to bed waaaay late, then get up fairly early, then don't hardly ever do a morning devotion. I did today, thank the Lord, though half asleep. I hit snooze about 5 times every morning. I just need to get myself together and manage things better. Damon and I shared the responsibilties, he took such good care of me. The Lord saw fit to relieve Damon of his earthly labors, and I know He will bless my efforts in trying to please Him even with my time. So please just pray for me in this.

Emily gets here soon! I am soo thankful she is coming. Oh, last night I looked at plane tickets about a month from now, to fly to TN for the weekend. 500-600 dollars for a plane ticket! Can you believe that?!?! I know they will be higher because of fuel, but not THAT much higher. Waah. They need to come down. Please pray they come down. I want to get to see TN and Damon's grave as soon as I can. But I need to be able to afford the ticket.

Ciao. I gotta hurry off to work.

No Worm For Me

Early birds get the worm...I am not a bird, and I didn't wake up early. Plus, I am not a fan of worms. I got to sleep in, and it felt nice. Went to bed late last night, reading my book. Woke up really early and couldnt sleep so then I read my book some more. When I did go back to sleep, I slept for a while longer. After waking up and cleaning on the kitchen a little, I headed over to Mom and Dad's and rode her horse Bobby. He really hasn't been riden seriously in about four years (since I got married), but praise the Lord, he did really well today. I prayed to be safe, for the Lord to help me, and God really did. This horse is huge, I am a tall girl, but his back is still above my eye level. If you fall from him, you fall a longggg ways. After all my nervousness, I was just thankful to God and proud of Bobby. It felt good to ride.

Tonight we went to Boise for my cousin's birthday party. Then after the festivities we went to dinner at Good wood BBQ. I will say, Idaho has nothin' on southern BBQ.

That was it for the day. I feel heavy hearted, I feel like I messed up before the Lord today. I HATE doing that. Please pray for me. I really want to please God in all I do, that is my desire. I failed today, and I need prayer to get back up and keep trying my best before Him. If I do not have God, I have nothing. If I have Him, I have everything. I have a headache and can't think of anything else to write about, so good night.

Testimony Time

I don't know who reads and doesn't read Emily's blog (live journal) but she posted about what happened to Honey last night. Mom and I were heading home from a friends house and were turning the corner pretty slowly, as I had the dogs in the bed of the truck with the camper shell on and the one side window open. I was only going about 10 miles an hour when I heard honey make the noise she usually makes when getting after Abby to leave her alone. Except it lasted longer than normal. I looked in my rear view mirror and Honey was in the road. I imediately stopped the truck and got out, I called her and she started to come to me but very slowly (understandable). She started going into shock. I freaked out, my poor baby girl fell out of the truck and I all I could think about is her going into shock, and dying on me. She then had three seizures. I had already called the vet, he asked if she was breathing normally, yes, was she bleeding, no, was she able to move, yes. He said just to watch her. She has had seizures before, she has three of them in a matter of 15 minutes, then none for another month to three months. But, because of the height of the fall, and this being my BABY...that dog is a gift from my husband, a piece of what he left me...ugh...she is part of my heart, I called him back. He was concerned whenI mentioned seizures...so he tested her eyes, and her pupils were responding a little to slowly, which meant a slight concussion. He wanted to keep her over night to monitor her. He gave her some sort of shot, I think steroids to keep the swelling on her brain (from the concussion) down, and two doses of valium to make her sleep and not try to chew on the iv. I felt so horrible, I shouldn't have had that window open. They have ridden with it open before, no problem. I just praise the Lord it wasn't on a busy street, I wasnt going any faster, and that she is okay. She is pretty much her old self right now. I love my doggy. Thank You Lord for keeping her safe. I realize that He alone kept her.

Hmmm

Don't really know what to title this, as usual. I got two new tiki torches for my back yard, except they aren't the normal tiki's, they are the polynesian style that have the huge flames. I want my back yard to feel sorta tropical-ish. Yes, in the middle of Idaho, I want hawaii. I am going to try. lol. I also watered my strawberry plants again and put up some more fencing around my garden. I got two different kinds of cucumber seeds so that I will be able to can some pickles. Never made pickles before, but sounds interesting. I feel sort of news-less. My life is blessed, I am by God's grace making it and thriving, I miss my Damon. Each day is a blessing, so praise the Lord for another day, even if it is news-less :)

Hi

Couldn't think of a better title I guess...or "hi" sounded okay.

NOT trying to be a downer, or a depresso...but I REALLY miss Damon. I have dreams about him and though I get to see him in the dreams, most of them are dealing with his asthma, and how he either knows he is going to pass on, or I am telling him that he is sick and is going to die. That was not the case in our real life, I had no idea that day would come. No idea at all. But these dreams plague me. PLEASE pray for me to have happy dreams. I know that God is the author of anything beautiful and lovely to think on, so these dreams are exactly the opposite and come from the enemy. I so wish I could see my darling husband again, I don't mean to sound sappy, but I gave him my heart. Now my heart feels almost gone. I in no way question God in that it was Damon's time to go, but that doesn't mean He doesn't understand my pain. God saw, when I was a baby growing in my mothers womb, that I would marry my sweet husband, he also saw that three years two months, and thirty days later I would be a widow and Damon would reach his ultimate goal. So I know that means there is provision made by Him for me and my heart. Part of that provision is prayer, so please just pray when you think about it. I just hurt and ache for the man of my heart.

Countdown!

Emily comes here in less than three weeks. I am so (in her word) "jazzed!" I need to get everything ready!!! Though I am 90% unpacked I still have boxes in the guest room closet, and my office closet. The only boxes in mine are things I want left packed (I think anyway). Anyway, I am just so super super excited to have here, but I guess I mentioned that already.

My house needs some cleanin' done! With starting this new job, I haven't kept it up as much as I would normally like to. Plus with getting the outside all spiffy, the inside needs a good scrubbing!! I think I shall do that here in a bit.

I planted more flowers today, still have some waiting to be planted. And, I now, officially...have a garden. I planted six strawberry plants. It's not a very big space, but I have some more room to plant a few other things, I hope to do that soon as well!

My baby girl turned 5 months old on the 8th of May. Abby is the baby girl. She is going to be sooo big. It is funny how honey puts her in her place even though Honey weighs a 1/5 of what she weighs, or less.

I got my momma some hanging baskets for her porch for Mother's Day, and a strawberry bouquet. They were covered in chocolate. SOO yummy. This morning we met my grandparents and Aunt for a Mother's Day treat as well. That was fun.

Well, I guess that is it for now. Have a great day.

A Good Devotion

WE SHOULD RECOGNIZE LIFE AS A PRECIOUS RESOURCE

Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.
Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
ECCLESIASTES 12:6,7

The silver cord, golden bowl, water jar, and pulley symbolize life's fragility. How easily death comes to us; how swiftly and unexpectedly we may return to the dust from which we came. Therefore, we should recognize life as a precious resource to be used wisely and not squandered frivolously.

I thought that was something good to think on today. I haven't had much to write about I guess. Just everday things happening lately, and I am blessed in life. I still miss my dear husband. God is good, and has done much for me, so though at times I would like to, what right do I have to grumble and complain. No right at all. I hope everyone has a great thursday, and may the Lord keep you today.

Nostalgic

Experience is a teacher, that you don't realize the lesson until many miles down lifes road.

Tonight I was reading my old blogs from 2006 and it is odd to see what a different person I am now. On some points I feel its a good change, on other points not as good. We as human beings, or maybe just me, don't realize how good we have things, until the situation changes. I appreciate all the Lord has done for me. I am thankful that I experienced truly deep, wonderful, life changing, amazing love, that Damon and I shared. I truly could not have asked for more, when it comes to my husband. He fulfilled everything my heart could have hoped more, and so much more I didn't even realize I desired. It still seems soooo odd that he is not here, but in heaven. Maybe that will never seem normal, until I myself make it. Every day in life is precious and counts. Counts for daily happiness, for daily light to this dark world, counts for your life, counts for eternity. So cherish, love deeply, live for Jesus, the rest will take care of itself.

Busy Sun Filled Day

Let my hands perform His bidding,
Let my feet run in His ways,
Let my eyes see Jesus only,
Let my lips speak forth His praise. —James

Is that not a GREAT quote!? I found that today on Our Daily Bread's website.

Today was a day, where I just plain felt like I could have done better as a human being. God help me to be and live as You would have me to. I desire this, and He sees that.

Mom and I got up early and headed out to visit my cousin at the hospital. Please pray for him, he broke his leg very severely in a motor cycle riding accident. It is nasty break, and the Lords touch would definitely be a wonderful blessing.

From there mom went to a few stores, then we went to a landscaping place and I got some flowers/grasses/bark. The rest of the day (for the most part, minus breaks) was spent fixing up the front yard with some new bushes and flowers, and bark. It looks really nice. I am so thankful to the Lord for my house, its a huge blessing and I am in awe of all He has done for me. How He has taken care of me. I am wore out, and ready for a good nights rest.

I been thinking a lot lately, or atleast more so. About Damon. Just pray for me, I really miss him.

Oh yeah...mom and I went to a scrapbooking party last night. Me the non crafter/stamper/scrapper, created 6 pages. Woo hoo. Only took me about 3 hours, but it was productive and pretty fun. I guess that is it...I hope you all have many blessings tomorrow. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Overtime

I only had to stay about 2 1/2 hours over time last night. Not to bad, but let me tell ya, I was ready to go home. For sure and for certain!

Well, its Thursday...what's that mean...another day to praise the Lord, and tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!

Today is the Day

Month End. We stay at work today until we are completely lining up on all fronts. We can stay up to midnight...so please pray that, THAT, is not necessary. LOL. I would really like getting off at as close to on time as possible, although over time will be nice for the check. Anyway, just wanted to request prayer for that.

It is cold this morning, 39 degrees to be exact. Well as exact as the news can be. :)

If, I get off early enough tonight, I need to cook dinner for mom and dad. Mom cooked pretty much all week last week, so I think we sorta talked about me returning the favor this week. Don't know what I will cook, should I get home at a decent hour from work, grilling sounds good.

Well, this post is short, and there isn't much information in it, but I need to get skiddadaling....is that how you spell that?

I love Damon Broyles, always and forever.

Got Prayer?

If you pray, pray for me. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the decisions going on lately. I just need to let go and let God. Being a grown up is hard sometimes...all you "youngins" cherish the carefree days of youth. It is nice to be adult sometimes, and a blessing, then other times, there are tough decision. But with God I can make it through any storm. That is what my husband wrote to me a few months before he made Heaven, and I still believe it.

Saturday Happenings

I got up this morning at 7:40ish. I went to bed pretty late for me...1:30ish. Hmm..seems I like "..."'s and "ish"'s. Anyway, back to the story, my grandpa was coming over to look at pouring a concrete pad to park Damon's trailer on. We decided, that short of bringing in an actual crew to pour the concrete, the best thing to do would be to get pavers for the track of the wheels then pour gravel on each side of those. If we do it right it should look nice. I also finished trimming the bushes, or is it pruning. Whatever it is called, I got it done. Now I need to rake everything up and make a burn pile. After that I need to get all my landscaping rock/bark down. I would like to plant a small garden too, grow some strawberries, blueberries maybe. I don't know, I just want a garden. My dad grows a really big garden, so I can get practically any vegetable that I would normally eat, from him. Having a yard like this takes a lot of work, and I hope it is okay to say this...but I want my yard to be the prettiest. lol....lawn competition, ya know? Oh, and I went to a yard sale today and got the cooooolest picture. It's so cute. It is a long picture with small shots of different northwest area posters. Hard to explain, but so cool. On another note (I should be paragraphing this, but oh well) please pray for Abby. She cracked her tooth today while playing. :( poor baby girl. She was tugging on a toy with spike when all the sudden she kinda looked dazed and shook her head. I looked on the toy later and there was blood. Then I looked in her mouth and she has a pretty big crack on one of her bottom frontal area teeth. It is a baby tooth so it should fall out at some point, but I know cracks (baby or not) are painful for humans, so they must be for dogs too. She has been fairly mellow today, making me wonder if it is hurting her. I will take her to the vet on Monday if I notice it is still bothering her. I dont want it to get infected either. After the abby experience,later on in the day, dad came over and fixed my sprinklers. I guess that is enough for now and I need to be heading out to my parents house for dinner.

Notha' Day, Notha' Dolla'

Got to go to work soon so I can, (as my dad would say:) "bring home the bacon." Yesterday was actually a 80% fantastic day at work.

I had a startling revelation yesterday, well I think the Lord explained a scripture to me. With the world events, you can't help but know that His return is soon. Sooner than we think. Now I am not one that likes to think on things too much, simply because I am such a thinker that I put myself in tormoil. But, I kept thinking, how can I be ready. Then the familiar story about the lamps with oil in the Bible would keep coming to mind. Well yesterday, that account became truly clear for me, the five virgins whose lamps were already trimmed with oil, were ready, but they had been doing their every day things. They had been possibly taking care of their younger siblings, housing visitors, feeding animals, etc.. but their lamps were ALREADY trimmed. Translate that to us, we simply need to follow Jesus EACH AND EVERY day, to be ready. Thats it, SIMPLE. Golly...why do I make it so hard. I am not saying not press in, don't get me wrong. But if I, Kasey, am truly following the Lord He will lead me into the exact place with Him that I need to be. But I cannot dilly dally around, playing games with serving Him today, but not tomorrow. Being ready means, serving God, morning-noon-night. And, serving Him is truly the greatest release from the pain in this world, that you will ever know. Yes there will be pain, but it is much much much more bearable with Jesus. That may have come out way different than I felt it explained to me by Him yesterday, but I knew what I got from it. I tried to share...:)

I need to get ready...I need to do my hair still and take off soon. I hope today is a good day at work too. :)

No Title

Truth filled Quote of the Day
"The good news is too good to keep to yourself."

Challenge for the day, tell someone about Jesus without saying a word. :) Course, if you feel led to tell them some of His good news, then do that too! :)

I woke up early, not being able to breathe well...yuck. Please pray for me.

I had other things to type...hmm...I had a horrible horrible dream. UGH. I HATE dreams like that, yes HATE. HATE HATE HATE. I need the Lord to help me to not let it bog my down all day, and realize it was just a dream.

Thats all for now I guess. Just pray for all the needs you know of, there are many. Right now, I really miss my wonderful husband. But praise the Lord, I knew Damon.

First Attempt

At home made jelly. I attempted Strawberry Jelly tonight. We shall see how it sets up. For all the strawberries I cut up, I sure didn't get much. I do NOT like seeds in preserves/jams/jellies (jelly technically meaning seedless) so I might have strained a bit more than necessary. And, I am to impatient to sit there and let it strain slowly. It tastes...SO GOOD. Store bought just doesn't compare (not cus its my jelly, but anything home made tastes better, ya know?). I really hope it sets up and is super yummy once cooled. I think I already have a problem sealer. I have one that sealed up great, and one that is still poppy. If it doesnt fix before the morning, guess it gets devoured first. Well, it is late, so goodnight.

Please remember to pray for the Clarkson family.

Today's Theme Song...

Can't promise you no pain no tears
Can't say you'll never be lonely again
My friend
But you see there's a remedy
There's someone who's got
Everything you need
And if you hear what I'm saying
I'm sure you'll agree that?-

Trouble ain't gon' be here everyday
Even though sometimesit seems like it won'tgo away
After you've done allthat you know how
Just to keep from breaking down
Just believe it's gonna get much better
After awhile

Sometimes I sit back and I think about
Where I've been and where I am,
Right now
See I wasn't quite sure you could
Hear me calling
But you were there to catch me
When I was falling
So I know

Trouble ain't gon' be here everyday
Even though sometimesit seems like it won'tgo away
After you've done allthat you know how
Just to keep from breaking down
Just believe it's gonna get much better
After awhile

Oh sometimes we may just want to cry
Then you tell me it's gonna be alright
You can't go through life
Living problem free
But you got to keep the faith
And you got to believe

So the next time you're feeling
A little frustration
And you going through
A bad situation
Remind yourself that it won't last for long'
Cause soon it will be over and you'll be moving on

Trouble ain't gon' be here everyday
Even though sometimes it seems like it won'tgo away
After you've done allthat you know how
Just to keep from breaking down
Just believe it's gonna get much better
After awhile

This is me now, not the song. In life there are things that plumb stink. They are not fun, not in any way, what you could hope for. How you are treated, how you treat others. Bottom line, even when we don't want to, we need to love people and pray for ourselves and our attitudes as well as theirs. I speak to myself here...sigh...I am feeling supremely alone today. I am missing Damon something fierce. I miss him all the time, but there are certain times when it truly hits. I wish he were here.

Stamping and Such

So, I went with momma to a stamping party tonight. It was actually pretty fun. I made, get this....EIGHT, yes eight, cards. In ONE night. I am not a stamper, not at all, and I am pretty amazed how easy it is when everything is prepped for you with the idea and such. That is my problem, is getting the right idea, that and measuring and cutting. We didnt leave there until almost 930 tonight, makes for a long day. But what does the Bible say, this is the day the Lord has made, so we need to rejoice and be glad in it. Every day, is a blessing, though sometimes we cant even begin to see beyond the clouds, the sunshine lays above it all.

I bought a Wii last night. I am excited. Super excited. Now I just need to figure out how to hook it up.

My job went better for the most part today. They say I am doing really well, that I don't need to be so hard on myself. That is how I am though, when I fail, man...its rough on me. I feel so dumb when I make a mistake, especially when I try so hard to do things right. That is what erks me. (or is it irks??)

Hmm....I am drawing a blank sorta. I guess, with that, good night. Jesus loves you.

Photos and Blessings

Blessings: Spending the evening with my cousin Troy, going to get milkshakes, getting the same flavor... Brownie Cheesecake. Yum.

Happy Sigh

This weekend...all in all, has been a good weekend.

Pros- were spending time with family, pancake feed with friends, parents laying rr ties in back yard to keep the dogs in, good conversation with friends, seeing family, church this morning, and communion and feet washing this evening.

Cons- ankle that is swollen and hurting.

Do you ever wish you could MAKE someone love and want to follow Jesus. I do. Though, I know that is not how you can do things. So, my concentration is to be a light to this world so that others will ask what is different about me. Then I can say Jesus, and they can say...oooh I want what you have. I remember, where I came from. Who I was, before the Lord. I am sooo un deserving, and so thankful, and you know, I don't want to take what God has done for me, for granted. I am by far, BY FAR, not perfect...but I want to be what Jesus wants me to be, and vessel that He can shape and mold as He wishes. I am at the point, where, I refuse to give up on those I have prayed for. Sometimes it is hard to not see what you have been praying for, right away, but that is where faith steps in. When you KEEP praying, even if something doesn't happen that instant. God loves to save, deliver, and help...it's His business :)

Today, guess what...I helped put up a chicken coop. Oh boy :) I helped mom and dad's neighbor, Betty, put chicken netting over the fenced area so the chickens wouldn't get out. They like to peck and scratch and had been getting on peoples property where they would soon be planting a garden. So, mom told me to go tell her about lunch, (which my dad made, and it was soo good) I went over there and she was hot, and frustrated and said she needed to keep working. So I made a deal. If she would come eat, I would help her afterwards. Even with two of us, it took another 2 to 2.5 hours...maybe more. But we got it done! Yay chickens, and roosters. Speaking of roosters, they have three and the biggest rooster was the biggest wimp of all three, let the tiny one and the fluffy legged one chase him around. well the other day I noticed the fluffy legged one has been all by himself for awhile. Well the former whimp chased him off, he barely came near the others and the former whimp went off and pecked him. GRRR...I feel like chicken noodle soup.

Pray for work tomorrow, for me. :)

Cry, Scream, WAAHHHH!!

OUCH. GRRRR. I hit my ankle today and made it bleed and turn purplish-blue. Not that long ago, I caught my heel on a sharp piece of metal coming down from the ladder. Today...I was moving the ladder so that I could climb over my back fence to help my parents set the railroad ties so that my dogs will not try to get under some of the places where the chain link doesn't meet the ground, and my flip flop got caught on Damon's jack (what you use to jack up your vehicles when changing a tire or the oil, or whatever). Well, I didn't realize it was caught until I tried to move that foot, taking a normal step. By that time, the very heavy jack ripped my shoe, while I was still holding onto the ladder, meanwhile continuing to trip. The wall caught me, I always knew walls were my friend, but I had already hit my ankle on the floor jack. I looked down and it was bloody :( and it hurt. I guess it wouldn't have been as bad, if it hadn't been on the boney part. Not the worst pain in this life, I know, but still painful. Thank the Lord it was only a ankle, and a mendable one at that.

So...

Praise the Lord. I am going through a lot emotionally right now. It's like I realized both of my grandparents on mom's side, are gone now. I knew that before, but its when it clicks...that its hard. Then Damon gone, well losing him is the single hardest thing I have ever faced. and you know, I still cry for him, no, it's not as frequent now. BUT, it is still really hard, when I realize I wam without him and our time together is done. Then, the things going on with losing my Uncle...*sigh*. It is just very hard. My job is remains a stressful blessing. Blessing because of the consistent money, but stressful because though I am starting to get more and more things in my brain...I feel like a bother to my trainer, and our personalities seem to clash. I started crying twice at work today because of some things there and the stress of it. Before when I had a bad day, I could rest in Damon's arms and he would hold me, listen to me, then give me advice or we would pray when we faced tough times. For some reason, God took Damon ( and I am not angry at Him for it) because Damon's time on earth was finished. But I wonder...since my time is obviously not up...am I wrong to want him here to hold me through it all?? I have been told to seek the Lord in this time, to see where He would have me be. To let Him become my husband. I have prayed and tried to let that happen, and hopefully have, but is it still wrong to desire Damon's presence?? I cant stress it enough, tell the ones you love, that you LOVE them with all of your heart, take every single day, and breathe it in and live it, and don't have any regrets. you NEVER KNOW your loved ones last second is. It only takes that one second to change your life forever. Please, appreciate your loved ones. God would have us to do so. I started this by saying praise the Lord. Momma always tells me, when going through a rough time, to praise the Lord. So, Lord, even though right now I am broken- I praise You, because You know the way.

As humans, we all make so many mistakes and we make them daily. We are commanded to love, forgive, and treat others as we would treat ourselves. Am I doing that? The Lord has shown me lately, on an area I need to improve. Though, I may not be completely comfortable with a particuluar person, regardless of how I feel, I am commanded to love them. If someone has wronged me, I need to forgive them, or the Lord cannot forgive me. It is so much easier to hold a grudge, then let go and pray. But if we don't let go, if I hold onto that hurt, I won't make heaven. So friends, if I have ever failed you, I ask you to please forgive me. I have tried to be in the Lords will, work for Him, and honor Him. But, I fail, and if we are all honest, we have allllll failed. Many times. Love one another, forgive one another, pray for one another, in this world, we all need it.

May God be near you this night.

Snow?

I woke up to snow on the ground this morning. Not alot, but maybe a half inch or inch, enough to cover the grass with little shoots of it sticking through. Praise the Lord for snow!!

Beautiful...

This is where I go walking/jogging, there is a mile long trail weaving around all of these ponds. Isn't it pretty? I took these pictures tonight. :)

Spam??

Though, in reality what they are doing is appreciated (in a general sense of protection), they have locked the recipe blog because it looks like a "spam" blog. :'( grrrr

Work went better today. I still and uncomfortable, but getting better. I guess I really need prayer for me to better understand my trainer. She and I seem to communicate in completely different ways and it makes for stressful moments.

Mom came over tonight, and I made dinner. We had hawaiin turkey terriyaki burgers and fries. (no veggies, I am bad, I know) and for dessert we had angel food cake with bluberry filling and cool whip. I put a little surprise in the burgers...added a small ball (size of a cherry tomato) of fresh mozzarella cheese in the middle and formed the meat around it. Then pan seared them in olive oil. YUM. Then dessert, I cut the the cake into three layers, and filled each layer with the blueberry, then covered all of it with the cool whip.

I am not nearly as sick feeling, but over all tired still. My ears are still plugged and I am still congested but all in all on the mend, praise the Lord. Seriously, PRAISE the LORD!

I hope I don't forget

everything to post about! I have a lot of I wanted to write, but I seem to forget in the midst of furious typing!

Mom, Dad, and me, went to an auction yesterday. Sister Grandma's (that is what we called her! her real name was Babe I think, she is in heaven now. ) daughter, Linda, is my realtor, and her husband runs an auction business. Well there daughter, Darcy, became pretty close friends with mom when Grandma Babe passed on. So, she and mom hang out a lot and Darc let her know about the auction. I got some really cool deals! I got a old metal sign, very vintagey, that I have on my plant shelf, it is a De Laval Cream Separator sign. I also got an old trunk, that I am thinking of using as an end table, some old fruit crates with the posters left on the side, that I have put up on my plant shelves as well. I got a really nice old kitchen table, with leaf and chairs, its in really good condition! I got an old iron, the kind they heated on the stove I think, and weigh a ton!! Also got a cast iron muffin tin, and an old old sled to put up on my plant shelves. I have some of my plants up there, but they only fill up so much space. The people had farmed the ground starting in the 1940's, and were still living there. However, they didn't get outside much anymore and wanted to get rid of some things (a LOT of things). It may sound silly, but as this couple in their 80's sat there, with his arm around her, I wanted them to get as much as possible for their stuff. They were so sweet. Although, I did get a little upset at a fellow auction attender yesterday. I had to pray and tell the Lord I was sorry about it too. I had been waiting to get one of these old hand pump spiggots. like what you see on little house on the prairie, that pumped the water out. They had three of them. I really wanted the green one, but didnt care as long as I got one. well, my dad said, let the first one go high, then the others will be cheaper. So, the bid got up to a price I wasn't comfortable with and I didn't bid anymore. They started the bidding as choice, meaning, whoever won the bid could choose whichever one they wanted or take all three at that price. I thought surely the woman would just take one, NOPE, she got all three. Tear. I was pretty upset, not like oh i hate her upset, but I had really wanted one of those things to make a water feature out of in my back yard...and she took them all. I guess I was pouting-upset. Who woulda thought, all three...hmph, i need to let it go, lol. So after that I left and went home. I was sunburnt and dusty, felt good to clean up. Then mom made homemade lasagna so I went over there and ate dinner. After dinner, we ran to wally world to get some birthday presents for the kids at church today. Then I came home and went to sleep. Ahh, precious sleep. The night before I only got about 5 hours, so I made up for it last night.

argh, I knew I would forget something..........trying to remember......still trying to remember.....

Tomorrow is another day at work, hopefully I continue to do well. Thank the Lord I did better on Friday. Please continue to pray for me to understand and do a good job.

I am thinking of inviting my family over for dinner this coming sunday. That is one tradition I would like to start. Family dinners at least once a month. I think I am going to make fried chicken, with who knows what else.

I also need to start riding my horses soon, as the weater has started to warm up a wee bit, cept today is rainy and dark. I love riding my horses and wish I could get my job back at the saleyard. God knows though. I would push cattle or whatever else, mostly cattle though, (push means herd) horseback on the drop off side. Then when the auction would start, we would push them to the appropriate pens to be picked up later that day. I made like 5.50 an hour, but it wasnt the money, it was the experience for me and my horse, and it was plumb fun!! The extra money was an added bonus. In the Summer we would have really short sales. I would arrive around 9:30, and be done by 3ish. Buy the fall, and winter sales were LONG. I remember not getting off one time until around 6:30. That is hard, especially when it is cold, and the mud is sooo deep (around 8 inches) and you would have to switch out horses cus they would get tired. In the summer you could get by with one horse, in the fall and winter, I remember bringing three. I miss that job.

I know I am forgetting something, I knew I would. GRRR...but in case you missed the below post, I started another recipe blog. The address for the new blog is in the below post. If you would like an invite and didn't get one, just leave a comment on the new blog. When blogger switched over, I couldn't get into the old recipe blog, even though I transfered it to the new blogger. So I had to start another recipe blog.

Hope everyone has had a blessed Sunday.

Guess What!?! Guess What!?!

I have created a...NEW Recipe Blog!!!

I have sent out invitations to those I have email addresses for. If you did not get an invitation, its because I don't have your address in my new email account. Leave a comment on the recipe blog if you would like to be an author and share share share your recipes!!

Thank You Jesus

Today was better. I was actually left alone for a good half of the day. Meaning, they trusted me enough to do things by myself. I had some issues, and had to ask for help from time to time, but all in all it was a better day.

went out to dinner with my family tonight. Got to see my grandma and grandpa from dad's side, then my cousin's from mom's side. That was a blessing.

Tomorrow we are going to an auction. I am hoping I will find a shed for my back yard.

Goal: To do more for Jesus, to be 100% obedient in all things.
Blessing: being able to drive to my parents house.

A word from the Lord.

Proverbs 2:8

He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints.

needy

sometimes i feel needy, asking for prayer so much. When, in comparison to other people's needs, mine aren't to big. right now, I just need prayer for my job. i came home with a really bad headache today. i laid down for about 45 mins to an hour, and my headache isn't nearly as strong now. I dont feel like i am getting much about this job. and, me being the way i am, if i am not confident in what i am doing i feel incompetent and do not enjoy it. this job is a huge blessing, and weight off of my shoulders, but i really need prayer that i grasp it more. some things are beginning to make sense, but there are so many rules to remember, i had a part where i was doing well today, and i enjoyed it. but by the end of the day, i wasn't doing as great and i begin to feel like i am getting on my trainers nerves. they say i am doing great, but i dont feel i am doing great. please please pray that tomorrow i have numerous light bulb moments and do amazing.

i dont even really care about capitalization right now. sigh. there is a auction this saturday momma and i are going to. mom and dads neighbors are out of town this weekend, for his fathers funeral. pray for them too please.

i hope everyone is doing well.

Ugh!

Please say a prayer for me, as I am getting sick. I noticed yesterday and this morning I woke up to my throat hurting and some congestion in my chest. I just took thre echinacea and am going to be chugging the vitamin c. I forgot what it was like to wake up early everyday! Off to work again, hopefully I get it today. I get parts of it, but not a lot.

Day One, Done

Well I finished my first day. A stressful blessing best describes it. HA! I am so thankful for this job, money wise, and it is 6 minutes away from my house, including school zones and school buses. Can ya beat that? The only way you could beat that would be to work from home! Now the stressful part, my job, is posting payments from different insurance companies and self pays from the subscriber to reconcile with the hospital's charges. There is sooo much to learn and remember. I took lots of notes, and actually sat in the drivers seat for about 45 minutes today. So thank the Lord for you all who prayed, but PLEASE keep praying, I am still very very nervous about it all.

Today...

AHHHH

I am soooo nervous. I start my job today, and my stomach hurts. YUCK. I need to eat breakfast, but I feel icky. PLLLLLEASE pray for me to do well.

Praying for you this day, Bradley's Family and Friends.

Tomorrow

I start my new job tomorrow at 7:30 am. Please pray for me to do well. I am always nervous starting a new job, I end up getting the hang of it eventually, its just the first couple of weeks that make me nearly sick to my stomach.

I really miss Damon. I hope people aren't sick of hearing that. I really miss everything about him, about us. I miss every day being able to come home to him and have him waiting with a smile on his face when I came through the door. I miss being able to have him hold me, while the world went away for awhile. I could have such a bad day, then put my head on his chest, he would hold me, and it would all be better. I miss HIM. He was so many things to so many people, but to me, he was everything, best friend (truly the best friend I have ever ever had on this earth), husband, provider, lover, cheer-er up-er, prayer partner, encourager, he took care of everything around the house, that is huge, having a man to take care of things for you. I never before realized it until I lost him, how much I relied on him for every day things. If something broke, he would fix it. I can fix some things, but if it's mechanical...shew, forget it. He hooked up the VCR/DVD player...I couldn't figure it out here, and had to rig up another way that he never had to do while we were married. I guess what I miss most of all, is the fact he really was my best friend. He was who I hung out with, went to the mall with, went driving with, everything. After he died, Emily and Rachel really filled in the gaps, but I never had a super close girlfriend after we got married until the time of his death, because he filled that gap too. No, I am not calling him a girl, he was just my best friend and i guess i wasn't missing out on the whole girl hang out thing. It hits me at times, that I still cannot believe he is gone. Page 4 in the blue book, (or is it 6??), Farther Along...we'll know all about it. I really miss him, but I guess you have gathered that.

In other news, I have a problem with my half marathon. I looked at the website the other day, and I missed the fact it's on a sunday! :( Now I don't know what to do, the other marathons are like a month or two away. The only other date that might work is in July. That is NOT very far away either. What to do, what to do?! The first day I started working out, it seemed sooo easy to do two miles. Every day after that it has been hard to do even one. Why is that. I guess my muscles are getting aclimated. I didn't jog on Sunday, but did yesterday. I haven't today, I can't decide if I want to jog or do a work out video. I found a website saying to run part of the time, then do cardio, then strength training. But, I don't like missing days of jogging for me personally because I feel like it puts a rut in my routine and makes it all that much easier to miss another day.

i guess that is all. Remember to pray for me tomorrow.