When You're Feeling Down and Out, It's Time to Count Your Blessings...

I sing that song...tonight I am thinking about it, and the message it carries.

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever, but it's only been a few months I guess. A lot is going on these days. As usual, and I am sure that's the way it is for lots of folks.

Tonight, I am thinking about the past, the present, and the future.

I am remembering my horse Salty. She was amazing. She loved me and would do anything for me. I loved her so much, but I didn't always show it. She carried me through a lot of valleys and to lots of mountain tops. Such a good girl. So beautiful too, and I could trust her. I really miss her. My parents had to put her down a few months after I married and moved to TN, because she was injured and not getting around to well anymore. I hated leaving her, not being with her. I hope she is in heaven. It may seem like a silly request...but she was such a part of my life for a long time.

I am thinking of damon as well. It feels like another lifetime, he and I. He was such a great man. And he still lives on, his legacy, his testimony, his life it shines. He loved me. In a world where everything feels so wrong, and I feel so out of it, he was there, so true and steady. He was the greatest thing beside the Lord to ever happen to me. I miss his laugh, he had a great laugh. And, his smile...his dry humor, his jokes, the smell of paint and fresh grass, and truck parts laying around the garage, paint spatters on my freshly cleaned kitchen sink, doing his laundry, making his lunch for the next day, his scent on the pillow after he left for the day. I miss him.

My life seems like a crazy place right now. I feel poor, I have a crazy job, my spouse is gone, and I am alone in this house. A big part of me wants to cry, to whine...to wonder where my fairy tale ending went. But like the song says, when you are feeling down and out, it's time to count your blessings. So thank You Lord, for money to pay my bills, a job that puts food on my table, a godly man that I had a priviledge of knowing and loving more in three years, than most get in a life time, and a house to live in. You are good, great, and You KNOW the end from the beginning.

MISSING

WEll, I haven't posted in a really long time. This one won't be long...my cat Tigger is missing. I want him home. I am sad. :( Pray for him.

Newp

Hasn't blogged in awhile, and not today either. SO busy lately. This is the first time I have sat at my OWN computer in over two days I believe. I have gotten on at my parents, and of course work...have a great day!

Welcome Spring

I am so READY for Spring. Just saying.

I am ready for sickness to GO AWAY! This cold season has been rough. I started having quite a bit of pain in my teeth back in November. That turned into a head cold, then pink eye, then a sinus infection. Now, the pain is back. In February. BLAH. Mom is sick again to. Working where we work, with lots of little ones (tho' ever so cute, they are GERM factories...lol), we seem to get a lot of germies. I am ready to feel better again. I been Netty Potty-ing it, and Umcka..some natural thing to help lessen the duration of a cold. Now if my mouth just wouldn't hurt. There are worse things though, so "cowboy up" is what mom says.

The Olympics are pretty cool so far. I feel for the family of the Georgian athelete that died yesterday. Only 21...I am praying for his family, so very sad. Again, things like this put things into perspective.

My eyelid has been twitching, for three days now. Who knows why.

Oh, and I went and test drove a four wheeler today. Oh to be rich...I'd buy me a aweeeesome ATV. Yamaha, Can Am, or Suzuki. Today I saw a Suzuki with my name on it...however, it wasn't to be. Maybe someday.

Oh and FTR, Apolo Ohno...yes, I am your new fan.

Am I Ready?

Just a disclaimer...this is MY blog. MY thoughts, NOT yours. If you don't agree, fine...you have every right to disagree. But if there is any negativity, please keep it to yourself. :) What I am blogging about today, is very personal, and very much my decision, and very close to my heart. I ask that you respect my feelings.

This will be my third Valentine's Day without my husband. I love him, and I miss him. Most of the time I do pretty good, by the Lords help. But, I wonder if I am ready to love again. When I got married, I took it seriously. Believing what I believe according to what the Bible says, Marriage is for life. Until death do you part, regardless of what may come in that union. The only cause for remarriage is death (your companion dies) or Fornication (finding out your spouse has a living companion, i.e. they were previously married). It's a strong stance, I know, but check out the Bible, and it will back those statements up. I find myself widowed, for whatever reason God saw fit to take my wonderful husband home. He was amazing, my everything besides the Lord, my knight in shining armour. He was perfect. I will always, always, and I mean ALWAYS, love HIM. I wish he were here, but I can't change that he isn't. And, I miss having companionship, being loved, and adored, and taken care of. Sure, I haven't been blind since Damon passed, and I have noticed men, I am human. But have I really been ready to love? It's a big step. I can't really imagine opening my heart to anyone else again. It will be awkward. Very awkward. My plan was Damon, till death, or the rapture. To even conceive of loving someone else is odd. However, I think that my time to be open to that possibility again, has come. I can't change my circumstances, they are what they are. I love Damon always and forever, but I know he would want me to be happy and find love again. Should it happen, it will have to be God's will. My prayer has been that should love come my way again, that the love be just as strong, or not at all. And, that as much as I love Damon, that I won't compare that person to Damon's perfectness. I only want love again if it will be just as great in it's own right. I will always love my Damon. Should love come my way again, I must leave it in God's hands to be done in HIS way and His time. And even if I only had love for the time I had my Damon, I will have been a surpremely blessed woman. I miss you Damon, I love you. Whatever the future holds, he was my first love, my husband, and will always be in my heart. To REAL Love.

I am Bad

I haven't blogged in over a week.I don't really have a lot of time today either. I feel very burdened for some people in my life, God knows about it, if you could pray it would be appreciated.

Saturday I took my band sledding in Idaho City then had our Band Meeting in the Gold Mine restaurant. While eating there I was looking at some of their antiques and saw a canned food that caught my eye. CANNED SLUGS. BLAAAAAAAAAAH In Garlic Oil flavor. SICK SICK SICK. They actually used to be eaten. Gags. The companies name was Slyme Tyme. SICK, again I repeat. SICK. Sledding was fun, I am waaay outa shape in 3 to 4 feet of snow.

I hope you have a great day, will write more later if i have a chance. loves.

A Week?!

Goodness sakes...it's been almost a week and I haven't blogged. For shame Kasey!

This week was good. It was my first FULL week back to work between all the holidays and being sick, and I must say, my pocket book will be very very happy. I am thankful to the Lord for this week, as I actually felt healthy enough to work the whole week and was even back to my bubbly sassy self. One person even made the remark "I guess you're feeling better, huh". Isn't that great. I read a devotion this week that has really stuck out to me. I am pretty sure I have read it before, because I have one devotional book my mom got me that I love and I am going through it for the second time, but for some reason this stuck out to me now. It said.."what you think, will be. If you think good will towards someone (that is normally not your favorite person) then that will come and that good will, will follow you. If you THINK health, then health will come". Mainly what it was saying is, HAVE POSITIVE THOUGHTS, our minds can convince us of so much JUNK, especially mine, that we get bogged down. So think happy, and happiness will be! I really liked it!!

Friday came so fast, and Shley came over to spend the night. We watched Fame, which for the most part was pretty good. We started P&P but, shew, I am old and it was late. I was OUT halfway through. I got a call from mom in the middle of the night, but missed it. So i called her back at nearly three am, and one of the horses had gotten out. She had to work realllly early this morning, so I had to go mend fence so our trickster wouldn't get out again. An hour later and a few scratches from the thorny trees surrounding the break through area, it was good to go. I felt like an old fashioned cowboy, cept I wasn't on a horse riding fence, but a four wheeler. Shley helped me, poor kid. She wasn't expectin to have to do that, but I am thankful she was there to help. The fence was tore up pretty good. After that, we came home and made lunch. YUM. We had seared chicken with gravy, biscuits, and cornbread dressing. YUM YUM YUM. I know, no veggies, but hey...there were some green things in the dressing. ;) We then watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a really sad but good movie. I have TV guardian so I don't know about the language, but there were some areas I didn't approve of. Overall good though. And it has changed my opinion of Brad Pitt, I have sided with the rest of the world (FINALLY) and now think he is gooorgeous. shew. The movie is like threeee hours long though. After that I took Shley home, and then went and got my coffee. I took a nap, and now I am getting ready to go to a concert at a local coffee shop. Hopefully its good, I think its just small local Christian bands, but I hear they are good! Have a great night!

Weekend Over...again

My weekend is over, and my left pointer finger is twitching. Hello random. ;)

Friday night I worked late, came home to the parents house and picked up my babies, then went home and did much of nothin. Saturday I woke up early and got ready for the long awaited....auction!! I went on the sole purpose of buying a four wheeler, God willing. He knows the desires of my heart, and as materialistic as it may seem to some...I want a four wheeler (ATV)...bad!! I prayed if it was His will I would get one. Well, it must not be His will right now. The one, THEEEE one (oh it was beautiful) that I wanted, 2006 Bombardier 800 4x4 with only 110 miles... 110!! Thats NOTHIN for a four wheeler. Oh, and did I mention it was CAMO! I want a camo four-wheeler. Anyway, Bombardier's are the cadillac, mercedes, beamer, etc. of 4 wheelers, and it went for one of those prices too. Alas, no four wheeler. Tear. I was really bummed. But, if it's meant to be a better one will come along. Preferably a Yamaha Kodiak or Grizzly 450 to 550, blue or camo. ;) I can dream right. Anyway, I was at the auction most of the day. After that I had Choir Practice. We have TWO new choir members! WOOOOT! THEN, Shley (pronounced sh-lee) went and rented a movie and got pizza. I liked the ending of the movie, and a few parts in between. But seriously...Hollywood has gotten SOOOOOOO dirty, just since I was a kid. It's pretty sad what this world is coming to, is already in I should say. But, none the less it was a fun night! Sunday (Today) was church. I teach the preschool class, and I have THREE 2 year olds, and TWO 4 year olds. I love my kiddos, so much! But, God really helps me through the class, whoooooeeee, talk about endurance. They got enough energy to run power to an entire town, I'm pretty sure. ha! So so cute tho! Then I went grocery shopping and spent to much money, and now I'm broke. After that I took a lovely Sunday afternoon nap. Then woke up and read for awhile. Tonight was church, and it was ammmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaazing!!!!!!! I just loove love love, that GOD, LOVES me! seriously...out of all the world, and He loves and cares about ME. Woo, praise the Lord!! Well, that's the weekend. Have a good week!

Want Some?

Do you need some encouragement today? Whatever you may face...I think this scripture covers it...ready?

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7

I am a worrier...about everything. Mainly a hypochondriac. I have let it get to the point of fearing everrrryyything is wrong with me. So bad I can't even function and am sad all the time. But you know, God does not want me to live like that. So each time I try to dig myself back into that hole, He gets me back out. I hope I am learning from these times in my life. To trust, not fear. To love, not fear. To LIVE, not fear. Because..."For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"

Sunday Morning

Well it's Sunday Morning and I'm feelin' might fine...well, the best I have in about 5 days anyway. :) Thank the Lord for the rest last night, not waking up stuffed, and my face not hurting as bad. I am not sure if I have ever had a sinus infection before, but woooeee it stinks. Course' I'm a wuss when sick, so ya know.

It's almost time to go for Sunday School, so I better go. Just wanted to thank the Lord for feeling better. Have a great day, go to church and worship Jesus!

On The Fly

So...being the lover of music that I am, I often come up with songs that I just make up and start singing a melody. Most of the time...those songs are really good. But alas, when I try to remember them to record the way the music floats and words go, I can't. BOO. Last night, as I was coming home from work, I was thinking of the rather sassy and jazzy song, "Summertime"...summertiiiime...and the livin' is easy, so on and so forth. I truly enjoy that genre of music. Probably because its so unique, and sassy, kind of like me. Thank goodness there is only one of me, poor world if there were two. haha. ANYWAY, back to the subject. I was thinking of a "sound" similar to that song, and came up with my own song about how the devil has had his fun long enough, he's done, done, done, throwing me around (these aren't the words, like i said, I forget) I have given him ground long enough, and he's done. I wish I could have recorded it, it was almost like my soldiers anthem. As a soldier for the Lord, sometimes you can allow yourself to get down, discouraged, worried, and so on. With me, worry is my everpresent thorn in my side. So last night, this song came to me and it was encouraging. I felt power, my power coming from my Father. He is good, and He loves me,and HE is my strength. i just wanted to share, and hey...I'm on a blogging roll. ;)

Home On The Range

Well my range is my living room. Home sick today. I decided to go to the quick care last night, turns out I did have a mild case of pink eye, and sinitus. If my symptoms don't improve with my sinuses, the PA(physicians assistant) said I need to exploure the possibility of allergies. I have never really had allergies in my life...so, I am hoping it clears up. I am on eye drops, antibiotics, and cheapo generic saline solution up the nostrils so I can thin out my muchus. MMMM...didn't know you were gonna be grossed out when ya read this, did ya?! HA. I wish I were at work, because I need the mula, but I did NOT sleep well and I feel pretty blah and worn out. So hopefully this will help, rest always seems to.

Despite my sickness, I DID get the kitchen cleaned last night. With the exception of sweeping the floors. Wahoo, that felt good to get something accomplished.

I guess I'm not to interesting, because that is all I can think of to blog about. BUT, atleast I am blogging!

BOOOO On Sickness

Well, since a few days before my DC trip (beginning of December) I have been trying to get sick. In the third week of December it finally hit, and I actually went home a half day early because my eye was a fountain, as was my nose. I felt like I needed to sneeze, but couldn't. Ech, awfulness. Well, it calmed down to the point I didn't have to get in the shower in the morning just for the steam to clear my sinuses. My first morning not doing that was two days ago I think, then yesterday evening I started to notice build up again in my sinuses and drainage in my throat. Last night I woke up arond 1 am with symptoms of pink eye. Sorry if this will gross you out, but my phlegm is not clear anymore...blah, I am just tired of bein sick. I am thankful, because I know I could be sicker, so thank the Lord. But still, I am ready to be well. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Have a great day.

2 Minutes

Okay I need to leave for work in, well...two minutes ago. So this will be short and sweet, but atleast I am posting.

This weekend was productive. I got allll my Christmas decor down and organized and packed. Still haven't moved it to the shed yet, but hey, it's a step. I cleaned my car, wahoooo! I got my grocery shopping done as well. And, two or three loads of laundry. Even folded. BAM! I still need to clean the house, but that will probably have to wait until Wednesday because TONIGHT is the FIESTA BOWWWWLLLLL!!! GOOOOOO BRONCOS! How I wish I was in Phoenix, AZ tonight! Well, it was so hard to get up for work this morning, but alas I have a job, and thank the Lord, a way to pay bills. :)

I hope you all have a fabulous wonnnderful day!!

Im Posting

WOOOHOOO! Happy New Year everyone!!

I have been sooo horrible about blogging lately, but truly, I enjoy have the little diary of my life to go back and take a look at from time to time! So, with this new year, I will try to be better at blogging.

My ten year class reunion will be this year, ahhhhhh!! I cannot believe I graduated HS nearly ten years ago, OLD.

Christmas went by so fast, so so so fast. But, just in the nick of time, I got all my baking done for my treat tins to give to family and friends. I got a new delicious wonderful, decadent, awesome (need I go on) recipe from a girl at work. Oreo Truffles...and only three ingredients. They have been the hit of this Christmas season, they are sooo gonna be a staple for the holidays now. Although, nearly 350 truffles later, I admit, I am siccckkkk of making them! I also did chocolate dipped potato chips, chocolate dipped soft candy cane sticks, and puppy chow. Yummy. I didn't get to cookies, but considering I did it all on Christmas Eve in about 4 hours, I though I did pretty good!

Now Christmas is over, sad. But I do enjoy the Christmas decor (as if i need more) that is on 50-75% off. Hello new lights! Gift bags, tins for next years goodies, woohoo! New Year's eve was spent in two places. First and old friend from my rodeo days, was having a party so I went to that for a little bit. We have reconnected on Facebook, and it has been sooo great. The weather was awful that night, but my little car made it through the 3-4 inches of snow, even if I was a bit nervous I was going to get stuck from time to time. Around 8:15 I headed to church for our annual Watch Night service. Of course, we have food first, so that was yummy, then we started service around 10, stopping just before midnight, to pray in the new year. It was that night 11 years ago, I FIRST came to The Church of God. What a adventure it has been, the places I have gone, life happenings, wowee, all of it is crazy, but ya know GOD IS STILL THERE AND HE IS SO GOOD! I am so thankful!

This year has been so hard as far as missing Damon. Still, with God's help it is bearable, but for some reason on this third Christmas after his passing, I had the hardest time of all. I love my husband, and it seems so strange that he is gone, yet the time I was married, seems so far away as well. I just wish he was here, but God knows.

I hope you all (that still read this) have a wonderful new year, and that God will be the most important One in your life. Much Love, Kasey

Turkey

I have a almost 19 lb turkey marinating in the fridge right now. I sure hope it tastes good for tomorrow's work pot luck. I am trying a butter flavored marinade. I was going to make my own, but I saw this one at the store and it looked interesting, so there ya go. :) And, it's easier.

I leave for DC in just two weeks, LESS than two weeks. I am really really excited. Not only to see the sights, someplace new, but to spend time with my cousin. I don't get to see him much, but he and I grew up together, and now that he lives so far away...well it's hard not seeing family.

Off the beaten path with this thought here, but Smokey Robinson has a really nice voice. He is on TV singing for some ice skating thing right now, and I just thought I would share. lol.

If I don't get on here before Thursday, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! love to all!

Been Awhile

Not to much new going on. But mostly the same thing over and over. And hey, that aint a bad thing! One thing that is consistant, is God's love, gracy, and mercy that gets me through each day. He is my Savior, and I love HIM and need Him in all parts of my life. Work is still fun, there are lots of ups and downs, but I am so thankful for a job right now. God is good and always provides for me. Church has been so amazing, it always is, but lately there is such an encouragement from the Lord to keep going, keep fighting. Really, HE fights our battles, amen?! God knows what is ahead for His children, and the battles are stronger, toughter, longer, but WHO is the same, yesterday, today, and forever? GOD!! That my friends is encouraging!

I have been jogging, and it feels good. I can feel it in my body, and its nice. Woo. The exercise and sore muscles actually feel good. Make you feel like youre doin something!

If you read this, please pray for my teeth. That may sound funny, but they have been aching lately. Not having insurance, I really don't want to go unless it gets unbearable, so I will keep praying and ask that you pray too.

I love you all. God loves you more!

Candles?

Today I made 12 candles... hand poured, soy wax, candles. Five different flavors. Candle making is a science, and one I normally don't follow all the rules on. When I say rules, I mean there is a "melting temp", a "pouring temp", and paying attention to all the "flash points" of the different scents. Now, I did pay attention to the flash points because, well...no one wants a fire in their kitchen, right? But last week, I made 7 candles and really tried to pay attention to the melting and pouring temperatures. RESULT? Nearly flawless tops on all of my candles, and good adhesion to the sidewalls of my jars (Ball canning jars). I will admit, I paid a certain amount of attention to temps today, butnot nearly as much as last week, and my tops prove it. Some of them...I don't think I will even try to sell at the bazaar. In all my efforts to do my fun new fall/Christmas scents, I FORGOT to scent one batch of wax. And, it was after I had poured it, and set the wick...that I noticed. Thank the Lord, it hadn't set yet (except for one) and I was able to pour the wax back in, scrape that which had set, and remelt it, and add the scent. I scrubbed the jars (the good thing about soy wax, is to clean you only need hot water and soap) pulled the wicks out, and retabbed with a new wick, violla i was ready to re pour. Tonight, after coming home, I noticed...I had forgotten to empty one of the scentless candles...needless to say I have a jar of scent free wax, maybe I should save it as an in case of emergency candle. Just in case you are curious, my scents are:

Kettle Corn (yes, it smells like sugary popcorn, it's neat)
Cranberry Marmalade...one of my favorites!
Very Vanilla (usually a crowd pleaser)
Spiced Wassail, a heavy scent thrower. Makes your house smell yummy
and lastly, Home for the Holidays. I am not as crazy about this one as I thought, but it does smelly woodsy and pepperminty, maybe someone will like it. :)

This week has been a blur. Last night was my band meeting, and after the scripture and lesson time, we had a big bone fire (HUGE) thanks to my dad, and a hay ride, thanks to mom and dad. Mom and Sybil drove us around (well, mom did, sybil rode) for about 30 minutes, we had nine on the trailer with 5 bales of hay around the edges and racks up around the perimeter, so we wouldn't fall out. It was lots of fun. As we would drive by the cars, in the dark mind you, we would wave and shout "HEEEYY" and most would wave back, I am sure some thought we were crazy! It was loads of fun. We made smores, roasted hot dogs, and I made home made apple cider. Okay, so I sorta cheated. I bought pre made cider, but I also added a few things. I put the cider in the crock pots and added three sticks of cinnamon, an orange sliced in rounds and split between both pots, then also quartered an apple and added to each, topped it with about 1 tbsp of sugar per pot and let that heat up. I must say, it was pretty good. :)

We went to the corn maze on Wednesday, and didn't ever make it out the right way. But, we did make it out of where we started...it was pretty fun. The night ended in a rain shower, but we were mostly done before the rain started to fall to hard. I was glad to get to be with the youth. I realy love them, and their desire to spend time with one another. Most of all, I appreciate their seriousness and desire to press in with the Lord.

My heart is heavy tonight. I am not sure who all has seen the video I posted on my facebook account, but it is about the call to anguish by David Wilkerson. I don't know who this man is, or what he stands for, but this message is good. I realized, I have become complacent about so many things. I pray for my family, but do I get under such a burden for their souls, that I am in anguish?? God doesn't call people to be bench warmers. If I won't let Him use me, He will find someone who will let His will be accomplished in their life. I want to find an anguish for this world, to know I am doing my part, however small or great it may be. I know God loves me, I know He loves you, He is an all knowing and good God. But I know, He has so much more planned for each of us, than we can even begin to think of or imagine. He is the I AM.

Much love.

Heya!

It's FALL! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I am so excited about fall. Such a wonderful time of the year!!! Spicey cented candles, fresh baked pumpkin and zuchini bread, fuzzy sweaters, beautiful leaves in my favorite colors (brown, red, orange), pumpkins, corn mazes, clear crisp mornings...need I go on?? UGH! I just love this time of year!! To me, it's the most peaceful time of the year. It is also harvest time. Harvest. Hmm...so much is entailed in that word. It's the time where a farmer reaps the benefits of the hard work he started putting in this time a year ago, all of the time spent tilling his earth, watering it to keep it moist, cultivating fertilizers into the rich soil, making even rows for good watering, finding the perfect seed. I wonder if we (and I am speaking to me) put that much effort into harvest one soul for the Lord, how much more would our results be. As this time of harvest is here, God grant me the spiritual eyes to see the crop before my eyes, and help me to be a worker of your fields.

mom and i

are trying to get one more camping trip in before it gets TOOO cold. altho' this weekend may be debatable on if that point has already been reached. pray for our safe journey and that we have fun. pray for me to feel better, my tummy is upset. your prayers are appreciated! loves much.