When You're Feeling Down and Out, It's Time to Count Your Blessings...

I sing that song...tonight I am thinking about it, and the message it carries.

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever, but it's only been a few months I guess. A lot is going on these days. As usual, and I am sure that's the way it is for lots of folks.

Tonight, I am thinking about the past, the present, and the future.

I am remembering my horse Salty. She was amazing. She loved me and would do anything for me. I loved her so much, but I didn't always show it. She carried me through a lot of valleys and to lots of mountain tops. Such a good girl. So beautiful too, and I could trust her. I really miss her. My parents had to put her down a few months after I married and moved to TN, because she was injured and not getting around to well anymore. I hated leaving her, not being with her. I hope she is in heaven. It may seem like a silly request...but she was such a part of my life for a long time.

I am thinking of damon as well. It feels like another lifetime, he and I. He was such a great man. And he still lives on, his legacy, his testimony, his life it shines. He loved me. In a world where everything feels so wrong, and I feel so out of it, he was there, so true and steady. He was the greatest thing beside the Lord to ever happen to me. I miss his laugh, he had a great laugh. And, his smile...his dry humor, his jokes, the smell of paint and fresh grass, and truck parts laying around the garage, paint spatters on my freshly cleaned kitchen sink, doing his laundry, making his lunch for the next day, his scent on the pillow after he left for the day. I miss him.

My life seems like a crazy place right now. I feel poor, I have a crazy job, my spouse is gone, and I am alone in this house. A big part of me wants to cry, to whine...to wonder where my fairy tale ending went. But like the song says, when you are feeling down and out, it's time to count your blessings. So thank You Lord, for money to pay my bills, a job that puts food on my table, a godly man that I had a priviledge of knowing and loving more in three years, than most get in a life time, and a house to live in. You are good, great, and You KNOW the end from the beginning.

MISSING

WEll, I haven't posted in a really long time. This one won't be long...my cat Tigger is missing. I want him home. I am sad. :( Pray for him.

Newp

Hasn't blogged in awhile, and not today either. SO busy lately. This is the first time I have sat at my OWN computer in over two days I believe. I have gotten on at my parents, and of course work...have a great day!

Welcome Spring

I am so READY for Spring. Just saying.

I am ready for sickness to GO AWAY! This cold season has been rough. I started having quite a bit of pain in my teeth back in November. That turned into a head cold, then pink eye, then a sinus infection. Now, the pain is back. In February. BLAH. Mom is sick again to. Working where we work, with lots of little ones (tho' ever so cute, they are GERM factories...lol), we seem to get a lot of germies. I am ready to feel better again. I been Netty Potty-ing it, and Umcka..some natural thing to help lessen the duration of a cold. Now if my mouth just wouldn't hurt. There are worse things though, so "cowboy up" is what mom says.

The Olympics are pretty cool so far. I feel for the family of the Georgian athelete that died yesterday. Only 21...I am praying for his family, so very sad. Again, things like this put things into perspective.

My eyelid has been twitching, for three days now. Who knows why.

Oh, and I went and test drove a four wheeler today. Oh to be rich...I'd buy me a aweeeesome ATV. Yamaha, Can Am, or Suzuki. Today I saw a Suzuki with my name on it...however, it wasn't to be. Maybe someday.

Oh and FTR, Apolo Ohno...yes, I am your new fan.

Am I Ready?

Just a disclaimer...this is MY blog. MY thoughts, NOT yours. If you don't agree, fine...you have every right to disagree. But if there is any negativity, please keep it to yourself. :) What I am blogging about today, is very personal, and very much my decision, and very close to my heart. I ask that you respect my feelings.

This will be my third Valentine's Day without my husband. I love him, and I miss him. Most of the time I do pretty good, by the Lords help. But, I wonder if I am ready to love again. When I got married, I took it seriously. Believing what I believe according to what the Bible says, Marriage is for life. Until death do you part, regardless of what may come in that union. The only cause for remarriage is death (your companion dies) or Fornication (finding out your spouse has a living companion, i.e. they were previously married). It's a strong stance, I know, but check out the Bible, and it will back those statements up. I find myself widowed, for whatever reason God saw fit to take my wonderful husband home. He was amazing, my everything besides the Lord, my knight in shining armour. He was perfect. I will always, always, and I mean ALWAYS, love HIM. I wish he were here, but I can't change that he isn't. And, I miss having companionship, being loved, and adored, and taken care of. Sure, I haven't been blind since Damon passed, and I have noticed men, I am human. But have I really been ready to love? It's a big step. I can't really imagine opening my heart to anyone else again. It will be awkward. Very awkward. My plan was Damon, till death, or the rapture. To even conceive of loving someone else is odd. However, I think that my time to be open to that possibility again, has come. I can't change my circumstances, they are what they are. I love Damon always and forever, but I know he would want me to be happy and find love again. Should it happen, it will have to be God's will. My prayer has been that should love come my way again, that the love be just as strong, or not at all. And, that as much as I love Damon, that I won't compare that person to Damon's perfectness. I only want love again if it will be just as great in it's own right. I will always love my Damon. Should love come my way again, I must leave it in God's hands to be done in HIS way and His time. And even if I only had love for the time I had my Damon, I will have been a surpremely blessed woman. I miss you Damon, I love you. Whatever the future holds, he was my first love, my husband, and will always be in my heart. To REAL Love.

I am Bad

I haven't blogged in over a week.I don't really have a lot of time today either. I feel very burdened for some people in my life, God knows about it, if you could pray it would be appreciated.

Saturday I took my band sledding in Idaho City then had our Band Meeting in the Gold Mine restaurant. While eating there I was looking at some of their antiques and saw a canned food that caught my eye. CANNED SLUGS. BLAAAAAAAAAAH In Garlic Oil flavor. SICK SICK SICK. They actually used to be eaten. Gags. The companies name was Slyme Tyme. SICK, again I repeat. SICK. Sledding was fun, I am waaay outa shape in 3 to 4 feet of snow.

I hope you have a great day, will write more later if i have a chance. loves.