Friday, September 28, 2007

GRR

Wellllll.....1 comment on my Hick post. surely I thought I would get more than that. YES, I am comment happy, so get over it. HEHE, guess that isn't nice to say. I been trying to be better about making comments too. I know I am so bad about that, asking for them, and not giving any.

I have invited some more people to Revival...I don't know what will happen, but God does. I hope they come, one person said they had to work almost as soon as the words were outa my mouth. Makes one feel shot down, but I am gonna pray for them to be able to come. One day people will realize they need to give some time to God too. I don't say that rudely, I mean I need to give Him more time. Good grief, everything I do for Him is eternal...so I need to do more. Anyway...this is probably coming out all wrong. Pray those I invite, will wanna come.

I am soo so sooo sleepy lately. I bought vitamins for myself, but forget yesterday and today...hard to get into the habit. I go to bed around 1130-1230 and get up around 630. Thats not a tiny amount of sleep so I am wondering do I really need more sleep or is something wrong with me. I know I need to eat more vegetables and fruit and drink more water. See ya later. Today has been a pretty good day. I think of Damon so much sometimes, other times not as much but he is almost always on my mind in some way I am sure. He is in my heart, so he has to be on my mind a lot, right.

Rodeo...God's number one sport....

Now, before you freak out...let me share the story behind my blog title.
My wonderful loving put together beautiful friend...Emily...whom thinks I am a total hick, calls me this morning and says "I have something funny that I wanted to share with you". By the tone in her voice and the slight snicker, you could obviously tell she thought it was very funny. So I asked her "what?", she says "a truck just went by me, with a trailer that said RODEO in big letters, God's number one sport." Thats my friend Emily. LOL She then said "I don't get it" and I said "I don't either, but when you saw it you thought man that is redneck and then you thought of me, didn't you?" She said "*laugh laugh* well because it said rodeo I did" uh huh, sure. Well world I am not ashamed, I am hick hear me roar. I like four wheeling in the mud, riding my horses, camping old style, going hunting, rodeos, anything that is outdoors and doesn't include rapids or weird things in the water...I can handle. Except worms, yuck, worms are gross. SICK. Hey, for the record, thanks to my sweet husband...I even like John Deere. Yep, you heard me right, and that my friends I believe was the first time Em really called me a hick, was when she saw my John Deere phone case. Well, hand me a flannel shirt, and cook me some pork and beans over the fire or for that matter just put the can under the hood of a truck by the motor after it has been driven awhile. That should cook'er. Get'r done yall. YEE HAW.

I am proud to say, while I am hick, I do believe I retain some of my womanly niceness. Atleast I hope.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

A story and a story.

My blog for today:
Revival was good last night, I had a good time. For some reason I am feeling a bit sad right now. Can't explain it, I wish it would go away at least a little bit. We have been moving stuff at work this week from our portables to another school building, hard work I tell ya. My cats are both doing very well and I love them. Poor honey, it was pouring this morning and she did NOT want to go potty out in the rain. But finally she ventured out to do her business. I know yall just needed to hear that (or shall I say read) on my blog huh. Sorry. Pray for me, pray for others, pray pray pray. I miss Damon.

Now, for the other story...

Shirley Goodnest and Marcy

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her.

Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed. The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor boy he knew. She did this for the whole week.As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally he said to Timmy, Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?Timmy nonchalantly replied, 'Yeah, I know who she is". The friend said, "Well, who is she?" "That's just Shirley Goodnest", Timmy replied, "and her daughter Marcy". "Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?" "Well", Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy' shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it"!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

First Cup

Since Damons been in Heaven. First cup of....*drum roll please*

COFFEE!!

man it is sooooooooo good.

I didn't plan on drinking any anymore because of a few reasons but mainly I knew he didn't like it and I wanted to honor him by not drinking it. The more I smelled the coffee, the more it smelled so good. And I think he would want me to do something I enjoy. Besides, he was fine as long as I chewed some kind of gum or washed my face so he couldn't detect any smell of it. I hope I haven't let him down, it was good though. I think this feels like some kinda little milestone.

180

My kitty has done a 180 degree turn from where he was. YAHOO!!! Thank You JESUS!! For anyone who prayed, thank you very very much. Last night he ate a little bit on his own and I decided to put most of the food up so he would be hungrier in the morning. This morning he was playing and running, and he even ate the food off my finger that I so inconspicuously hid his medicine in. *tee hee* I am sneaky. I put more wet food down and saw him eating it as I was eating my breakfast. Isn't that wondermous. Makes his mama happy and thankful to the Lord.

Well, I started making a few crafts last night. I stopped by hobby lobby and picked up the supplies to make candles. I bought some stuff to pour and leave in a container and then some to put in a mold then decorate. A friend of mine is having a craft bizarre and asked me if I would like to bring some things so I am trying to come up with a few ideas, outside of baking. I made a potpourri thing for Yvonne last night that was really cute, but I think I need to add a little more sumpin sumpin (as Morgan would say). She got the beginner one, but hopefully she liked it. Anyway, it was fun. I then filled a vase with red colored potpourri and filled it with fake sunflowers (yellow for Damon) and three (again...fake) red roses, one for every year of our marriage, and it was PURTY! I actually was kind of surprised...might start making those too.

Wendy stopped by last night and picked up the honey she ordered from my Daddy. If anyone elese wants to order honey, let me know. He has a batch he just did I think. He keeps the bees in the back yard/dry lot area of their house, he took that up after I moved out. Weird, but he likes it. :) And it tastes WAY better than anything you buy in the store, there really is a difference.

Tonight starts revival, we go through Sunday. I am glad to have something going for five nights, and I hope that doesn't sound bad. God knows, sometimes I get pretty lonely...well a lot of sometimes and it helps to have something going. Especially if that means church, woohoo. I wanna invite someone, but need prayer for the Lord to open the doors. Pray for this, that I will have the opportunity. Well, I am off here I guess.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Anybody??

I wrote a LONG post and I get one comment (thanks Bekka). *hmmph*

I was just looking at picture of Damon and I remembered this scar he had on his ear from a hair cut gone wrong. He never would let me cut his hair. Hearing about all the weddings coming up (Megan and Gracie) makes me nostalgic to that time in my life. What a grand and glorious feeling it was. I wish I could have those days back. If I had only known he would be gone so soon, I think I would have stopped to drink in every drop of every day of our lives together. Time passes so quickly. I miss him so much.

Today...

This shall be a long post. My aunt sent me something via email that I thought was really cool. Oh and I do have a blog after this, so make sure ya read all the way down.

Check it out
Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...


101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER
100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these
questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


And:

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:


L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%


Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


Isn't that interesting. I thought it was. I am really ready to change my layout. I don't need to, I want to.
In other news...Junior is feeling better and showing interest in food, but not eating it. So I had to force feed him, that is what the vet was going to do, so I saved myself some money (at least for today) by doing it myself. A lovely mixture of wet food, milk, and tuna juice. YUMMY, anyone hungry. My house smells lovely, as you can imagine. He got downright ugly sounding though, he didn't like me putting dropper fulls of stuff down his mouth against his will and wanted me to know it too. But, I keep going, because I can tell he feels better. I just wish he would eat. PLEASE pray he eats.

I miss Damon, duh, sure y'all knew that. Its every day life that is hard to me. It's not going to be a 6 month wait, or a year wait, he isn't ever coming back to this life. I know I will see him in Heaven, and it will be glorious. But now, I miss my husband. I miss day to day things, getting ready while he was getting ready. Taking care of him and fixing his meals. Grocery shopping trying to find the things he liked, laying next to him at night as we did our devotionals. I miss going to side jobs with him and watching him do what he truly liked. He was so amazing. I liked watching him sleep and the sweetness of his face. I loved his unassuming manner. He was who he was, humble and kind, he had nothing to prove. He was himself and honest before the Lord and that is so awesome to find in this world of you have to show off to be noticed, etc. His light shined daily, without him even trying. I love him. I miss him. I am so much better off for having known him, and for being his wife. I am so happy that he made his all time #1 goal, but honestly....I want him here with me. I know this was Gods will, but I know God understands that I don't LIKE having to live every day without Damon physically here. I don't like NOT waking up to him, I don't like it at all. This wasn't the plan for my life, or shall I say, MY plan. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have happiness again. There are moments of happiness in my life right now, but nothing like life was with Damon. At times, it feels really unfair that people around you get to go on with life, and have their dreams coming true. If you have faced sorrow, you know how I feel. My friends and family are having babies...yet here I am without the man who would have made the most wonderful father, with no hope of having his children. God knows my future, and for whatever reason June 19th 2007 WAS Damon's time. It is hard to rest in the fact somewhere out there, there is a plan for me. There is a song I sing now....it goes like this...

I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won, only to find the war had just begun.

When Damon and I were brought together I thought that I had finally made it. I had finally achieved my dream, I was truly living out my day to day dream. I thought my loneliness battles were over and that I finally had the person in my life I had dreamed of. I never knew that three short years, 2 months and 30 days later...my war had truly just begun. But as the rest of the song goes..."Is He not strong enough, is He not pure enough, to break me, pour me out and start again. Is He not brave enough, to take one chance on me, please can I have one chance to start again." I don't know what my future holds, I don't know what tomorrow holds. But I know I want to hold the Keeper of tomorrows Hand. I guess that is enough reminiscing for the day. Ciao.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Thank You

Thank you to whoever prayed for Junior. Keep it coming. But I DID get to bring both my boys home. They said his blood is looking much better! PTLORD! His temperature was 105 something, that is why he didn't want to eat. Now it is back down to normal and you can so tell. He isn't as skinny as I thought. He has only lost 1.5 to 2 pounds. Which is still alot for a cat. Anyway, just pray his fever will keep down and that he will eat. If I can get him to eat, it will be okay, thank You LORD!

Momma

Pray for my momma too please, she was not feeling well last night. Please pray for her to be well.

Junior

Is not doing well in my opinion. PLEASE PLEASE pray for him. I am really tired ya'll. I know God is able, I know He is a good God. I need Him to intervene. I am overwhelmed with heartache at the moment. I hope I don't sound silly or whiney, I just REALLY need Him to help me right now. I want my kitty to be okay, he isn't eating much. My normally fatter boy has lost so much weight his back bone is very feelable and his eyes almost look sunk in his head. I can't get him to eat wet food, grilled chicken, warm milk. I gave him his meds last night and he threw up about two minutes later. I KNOW God touched Tigger, I need Him to touch Junior. I want my boy to be okay. I miss him being okay. *sigh* I had weird dreams last night...woke up sad. I miss Damon. I say it alot, but my life has changed. Every single day I woke up to my husband for over three years (except if he was at mens retreat or I was visiting) and now that is gone. I know HE is happy, he is in heaven. But I am here, and my life every single day is without Damon and I miss him. My life will never be the same. God has a plan bigger than this, I just wish I could see it. I wish for Damon back to be honest. I know...lovely uplifting blog, huh. Pray for me, I need it. And pray for my kitty, Junior. PLEASE, he looks so sick and tired.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Anybody

OUT THERE???

Aside from picking my kitty up, I am planless. Anybody else planless out there? I wanna go play football, I wish the youth were doing that tonight. *sigh*

This is me signing off,

lonely in old hick

Big Faith

Well....pray for me today and mostly pray for my OTHER kitty. He has the same thing Tigger did, though, thank the Lord not as serious a case. I noticed he seemed more quiet lately but his gums still were a fairly good shade of pink. A sign of this sickness is pale gums. It is called hemobartenella (I think that is the correct spelling). Last night I noticed him being really quiet, and my test of how they are feeling (don't laugh) is to scratch their stomach because neither of them like that and get mad. He got mad, but it took him longer than usual. I checked his gums again and noticed they were paler. Then I picked him up and he started meowing really loud like he was mad, I set him down and he just went what seemed like, straight over and (not to be gross) but doodied on the floor as he was laying there. It was like a seizure or something. :( I FREAKED out and started crying and called my momma and Yvonne. Yvonne came down almost right away and she calmed me down a lot. Well the Lord used her to do that. She read the Bible to me and prayed with me and for Jr. This morning he was still laying down but atleast picked up his tale when I scratched by it, he likes that. I thought that was better. I went to pick him up to put him in the crate to take to the vet and this time he got mad sounding again and his back legs seemed paralyzed and he did number 1 and 2 on himself. Again, sorry if I gross you out. The vet called about an hour and a half later saying he had hemobart as well, but not as serious as Tigger's case. I am thankful for that, and get to pick him up tonight after work. He will be on atleast two medicines and maybe three like Tigger was, I am not sure.

Just pray for me to be sane. When he got sick last night I feel like I lost it. I am so tired of tragedy...so to say. I know he is only a cat, but I feel like it has piled and piled on top of me. Yet I want to remain like Job and praise the Lord, but when that happened I don't remember calling on the Lord. I remember freaking out and crying and getting so scared. I want to be stronger and more grounded than that. I need the Lords help.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Pray myself out of being human

My friend Tammy wrote a song about that, and today I so wish I could do it. I wish I was perfected already. I try so hard each day to please the Lord, yet I fall on my face. The Bible has a verse about a man who falls 7 times and gets back up 7 times, being wiser than the one who stays down. So I want to get back up, I just wish I didn't fall. I truly had the most wonderful husband in the world, and I miss him. No offence ladies...to all of your hubbies ;) just mine was the best. In my most humble (hahaha) opinion. He was everything good and wonderful in my life, and I never want to forget what he was, who he was, and how he was to the Lord and to me. Tonight I think I am going to clean and cook. I want to be ready for the weekend. I am still not sure if I am getting another dog, I need to ask my landlord (andys dad) first to make sure he is okay with it. I am going to see how much fencing materials would be to redo the back yard fence. Damon and I had talked about it before he passed away when we were having all the trouble with the neighbor. Except I don't think I will do a privacy fence, but a tall chain link. Who knows...I want to be able to make it so the dog (if I got one) could have the back yard to be in while I am gone at work. What would be awesome would be if I could have a doggy door put in so they could go in and out as they pleased, but I am not going to do that since I am only renting. Anyway, enough of dreaming.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Last Night

Last night was pretty fun. Emily came over and spent the night...since she works in Hermitage and lives in Smyrna it worked out good for her.

I have an announcement to make: Last night was the first time I have made buffalo chicken from scratch, since Damon went to Heaven. It was pretty good to. YUM and go me and THANK YOU JESUS. It has been hard to cook, and I tell you....it probably still will be, but having Michael and Emily to cook for last night made it easier.

Tonight I need to get to church early to help Emily out.

Oh yeah, we went to Wal-Mart last night around 8 something and didn't get out until 9:30ish...no wonder I was tired. Then came home and watched a movie. Was nice to have company. I even cleaned my house a little bit. All in all a productive evening for this chick.

My cat is so weird and cute, when i get my laptop back I am hopefully going to post the pics I took of him last night. Since I have moved him inside he has been so hyper, especially since feeling better. Well, I bought them a cat gym that they barely even looked at! GRRR, I bring home some clothes I got in Idaho...well the bag is kind of big and hot pink...Tigger loves that thing. So to say. He runs and then dives into it and turns around and stares back out at you. If I had known he would have liked something that much that was free, I never woulda wasted the money on a cat gym. Wendy you need a cat gym??

Thats it for today. I love you guys and momma I mim you. I miss Damon a lot lately. I mean I think about him every single day, but it hasn't been this acute in a couple of weeks. Yesterday was definitely better, but it still hurts a lot. A super lot.

Do you like the name Solomon's Traditions for my store?? Damon liked the name Solomon if we ever had a boy.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

One more thing

Pray for me, I am thinking about getting another dog. One that is medium sized, for a little more protection and a companion for honey and I. I just need to pray about it. I already have one dog and one cat that are indoor and one cat that is indoor/outdoor. I am in a small place, I just think it would be kind of therapeutic to have something new to keep my mind busy, if that makes sense. The house is so empty and quiet, might be nice, ya know? I went to the pound today and have three that I am really looking at...the only thing is, I was wanting a male and all three that I like are female. SIGH The lady said I can bring Honey in on Saturday and introduce her to them and see how she does. Two are labs and one is a lab retriever mix. The mix is really pretty and sweet, the black lab is totally emaciated so I would be a mommy/nurse for awhile which interests me, yet she is going to be HUGE. 70lbs ish...man o man, that is big. The chocolate lab is the perfect size but already full groan and I sort of wanted a puppy to raise a long with honey. But she is the sweetest of all three in my opinion, well they are all sweet and somewhat pitiful. There is another puppy there that is sooooooo cute, and another. I really wish I could take almost all of them. It is so sad, I prayed that every single one of them would get adopted. There is one dog, he didnt really win me over but I think he is still young and has been in there a long time and he is kind of cute and he didn't bark and is a male. So who knows, I am just going to pray about this. Pray with me. I know it will mean: more food, more flea meds, more vet care, more work for someone to take care of. Anyway, anyone have any thoughts, they must be nice though :) You can disagree, just do it nicely.

New thoughts

Pray for me, I am thinking of starting my own business. I want it to be an old timey retro-ish home cookin kind of store. I don't know, just in the thought process.

Monday, September 17, 2007

I shall share this story...

This may sound weird, but as I was walking to the baggage claim area I realized that this was the first time (since meeting Damon) that I had walked that aisle and my husband wasn't going to be waiting for me. I was really sad and cried a little. While I was on the plane (I think that is when I asked Him) I asked the Lord to let me see Damon. I know it may sound weird, and I don't know what I really expected, but I prayed it anyway. As I came around the walkway, posted on the pillar he would wait behind, was a big sign saying "WET PAINT". How cool is that. I believe that was Jesus answering my prayer. My Damon would hang signs in the school after they had painted saying wet paint, and not to mention him being a painter. I was happy. I miss my husband horribly. The pain has been really bad today, today has just been plain hard. Shew...I need some sunshine and as the song says...Lord I need You to lift this load cus' I can't take it no more. I really need prayer, seriously.

Trying to Remember

That this is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. I hope it is okay not to feel rejoiceful. I dont want to be a complainer before God, I am just so sad and down today. Horribly.

Quickly

I will post quickly....

Ever feel like you are hanging on by a thread?? Man, I am such a worrier. I DO NOT like it. I wish I could KNOW what God would have or be happy with and just do it and not stress myself over everything. I make it so hard on myself. I just want to make heaven my home, I know worry isn't from God. I just have such a hard time getting out of my thought patterns. God please lead me in Your PATHWAY!

I am going over to the Fox's tonight for dinner, I went grocery shopping last night, and look now I don't even have to use my own, I get to eat someone elses. LOL. I actually bought food to cook last night too. Go me. Most of it is pre made, I am just not into full out cooking again. It is hard to cook for one. I had just got the cooking for two thing down. I loved preparing satisfying meals for Damon, just isn't the same now.

Pray for me to have direction for my future, I am thinking about a lot of different things. School, housing, business, etc.. I want to be in the perfect will of God.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Tag Game

I think we should start a new game: It would be a game of reverse tag, you give your friend a list of mutual friends and say 8 randoms thoughts or impressions of that friend. Mostly positive, but if they can handle it be honest about quirks or faults. (I hope I am doing this right)

Momma:
1. She loves the Lord with all her heart soul and mind.
2. She loved my husband very very much, and had a great relationship with him
3. She can make some good sticky bun things in a bundt pan
4. She gave of herself so much for me to have a wonderful child hood
5. She looks 5 years younger than what she really is, she is beautimous.
6. She likes to watch "What Not to Wear"
7. She is a good listener
8. She is a joyful soul that brings joy to pretty much everyone around her.

Wendy:
1. CRACKS ME UP!
2. Will speak her mind
3. Is very good at watching and observing
4. Set me up with my WONDERFUL amazing hot husband
5. posts hilarious stuff on myspace
6. Can play a mean game of volleyball, literally.
7. Did I mention she set me up with my super hot husband!
8. Likes to create indian names for her friends.

Tammy:
1. Stands in the gap
2. Cooks some good mexican food
3. cleans a mean house, although I did actually find dust one time. :0
4. Has a beautiful daughter who is sunshine to life.
5. Sings the song that the Lord laid on my heart in the emergency room June 19th, I WILL TRUST HIM
6. Looks super hot and cool
7. Is a person you can pretty much read what she is thinking, MOST of the time.
8. Has a hilarious laugh.

I dont know if anyone else tagged me, but I need to go now. :) I will do more later if I have time. :)

Hard Day

Golly, today has been hard. I have really been thinking about Damon today and missing him. I went grocery shopping tonight, I used to have someone to love to cook for and prepare for, now it is me. Do you know how lonely that is? *sigh* I am hoping a friend of mind will come to TN ladies retreat this year. I am in a weird stage right now. I am wanting to quit my job and maybe go to school, what kind of school I am not sure. Was thinking of going to esthician school and becoming certified to do facials, then I have thought maybe not that and to open my own business. I just wish I knew some answers in life. My world has turned literally upside down and I have no idea which way to go. I am lonely, missing Damon, sad, I dunno...I have lots of things to be thankful for and perhaps I am bad for even writing this. I don't want to lose sight of the prize, to let this storm surround me so much that I don't see the silver lining. I really need you Jesus to help me, YOU know where I am weak, please bind me up I pray. I want to please You so so much, and I feel like I fail on a lot of things, I really need Your help. Help me all the way to Heaven's doors. PLEASE.

HI

I am back in TN. I miss Idaho though, being honest. *sigh* I could have stayed out there longer, but work calls. I return full time for the first time since Damons passing to heaven. Scary business.

Since I am getting nagged by someone who shall remain nameless...EMILY. I am gonna get off here now. I am wearing my new dress today momma, I was told I looked sharp. :) WOOHOO. Nice to look sharp sometimes. Now if I could act sharp.

Did I mention I miss Damon. I am so ready for my laptop to be back. I wanna do Tams tag game. Ciao all.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Tagged

Rules:
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write in their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

My 8 Random Facts/Habits

1. I cannot STAND for my hands to smell like food after I have eaten. I have to go and wash them ASAP, or if that isn't possible use Hand Sanitizer.

2. I won my first rodeo queen title at the age of 4.

3. When I was 9'ish I was afraid "the aliens" were coming to get me.

4. When I was younger, I would make a fort in the living room on new years eve and watch the ball fall in NYC on TV.

5. I have a scar under my chin from falling off my horse (age 5 I think) and hitting the pavement.

6. My dad and I used to have tomato fights at the end of the season with the tomatoes left in the garden.

7. I once fell asleep on top of my horse salty. I think I was asleep anyway, I was young I know that.

8. I am double jointed in my left pointer finger, I think I am, I can bend it at the first joint without moving the rest of my finger. Cool huh

I tag: No one, because, well....I don't know if there are 8 others I know well enough to tag to haven't been tagged already and mainly I don't really want to. Thinking of 8 interesting things about me was sorta hard.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Thursday....

I have been missing Damon a lot more lately. I think about him and really wish he was here. *sigh* this hurts and is really hard.

Today is spa day, I am excited and nervous. I hope I like it.

I need to get off here, but I had a great time last night with some old friends. We went to the Cheesecake Factory then shopped in the mall. I got a great sale on some body lotions and sprays and also bought my friend a baby outfit for her coming son. Baby Gap has the cutest bags. Good thing they have a clearance section, that place is expensive, but super cute! Ciao

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Pray for Me PLEASE

I am sick still and I feel like I can't breathe to well at times. I know it is mainly a fear thing, though the junk in my lungs doesn't help. I just need the Lord to completely heal me and help me to be well again! I know He still heals.

In other news, my birthday gift to the spa from my Aunt is this Thursday. I only have to pay for a small part of it, so it will be really nice. I am so excited and hope I am totally relaxed after I am done, I could use some relaxation. As I am sure a lot of people could.

The time has gone so quickly for me here. I am torn, part of me isn't ready to leave, yet the other part of me misses TN. I know this is hard on my parents, I am not a parent so I can't fully understand, yet I would imagine it would be extremely painful to see a child move so far away. I need to pray for God's comfort for them, I would appreciate any prayers that you all would offer up for them as well. Tomorrow, I am taking lunch (KFC, at her request) to my grandma. Thursday is spa day, and Friday we are going to my grandparents house. I fly home Saturday, and Lord willings should arrive Saturday Afternoon. I need to go see my horse too. I haven't even been down to see her yet. I tell you, it seems like time has flown by.

Someboday told a wonderful story at church tonight that I would like to share. (I am adding a few of my thoughts to the story too) A commercial came on the radio station they were listening too and was to the effect of a man pulling petals off a flower saying she loves me, she loves me not. This person said, how they didn't want God to feel that way about him because of his actions, "he loves me today, he doesn't love me today, he loves me today, he doesn't love me today" the Bible says if we love Him, we keep HIS commandments. Then this person said, how awful it would be to get to the final petal and it be the day when he loved Him not. We never know the end of our road, or when our last petal will be plucked so to say, may we be found loving HIM still that day and serving Him with our whole heart. On that note, I had the opportunity to witness to a friend of mine yesterday (a friend of a friend really) and I would love for the seed to have been planted. pray that the Lord will continue to work on this persons heart and bring them to HIM. God is a God of love and peace, and I prayed I conveyed the love of the Lord to this person.

Good night folks. pray for my cough and my lungs.

I love u Damon.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Damon would have liked tonight...

...I thought of him and how he would have enjoyed the evening I had tonight. I went four wheeling, both ATV and in a truck with a friends of moms, sons. If that made sense. There was two of them, one of me, and their other friends and I am not sure of all three names, but two of them were Ryan and Megan. We had a fun night of riding through lots of mud, but then someone had the idea to take the truck through a hole they got the four wheeler stuck in earlier. Guess what, the truck got stuck too. Then the other dude got his truck to pull the stuck truck out (which I was in). I imagine yall can guess what happened next,...ready....that truck got stuck too! OH mercy. So I have to get out of the truck where the water and mud are almost level with the bottom of the truck and sink, there was a ridge I could climb out on but it was still pretty deep. I was REALLY muddy at this point, my shoes were covered, my legs, my arms and face were spattered, I had chunks of mud in my hair still when I got home tonight, and there were even mud clauds in my ear. YUCK! I rode the four wheeler back to my dads truck, now mind you not only am I using Dad's truck, but mom and dad's nice newer four wheelers. I told them to be careful, people I have never met before in my life and I let them borrow expensive things. I was praying, how smart am I though?? Anyway, we got Dad's truck down there, well I drove it down to the spot, and the dude pulled the first truck out. SHEW. Okay, the second truck (the original one stuck) was REALLLY deep. I realy was scared my dads truck was going to bog down and it would end up getting stuck too. I was literally praying that it would NOT get stuck. THANK YOU JESUS, it came out fine, though a little scary at moments. It took a few attempts to get the second truck out. Damon would have loved this place, he would have had the best time. Sometimes I feel like I forget, I get caught up having fun and forget my husband is REALLY gone. It seems like reality slips me at times. Who knows, maybe it is good. Maybe if I really kept thinking about him being gone all the time, I would be sad. Only God knows. I do know a few things in life: My husband was the greatest man I have ever met and I had the pleasure of being his wife, I love my Lord and am so thankful to Him that I am His child, I want to make it to Heaven more than life itself. I love You Jesus, and thank YOU so much for Your mercy, grace, love, and everything You are and have done for me. I love you Richard Damon, forever and always and always and forever...your Bride.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Number One

What is your greatest dream/wish in all of the whole wide world?

Mine: Making it to Heaven and serving the Lord purely and honestly and having the actions to back up my words.

That is what has been on my mind lately...making it, doing whatever I need to to make it to Heaven. Damon made it. I want to be like Damon was, he was amazing. My hero and my love. Damon had it figured out, yet he didn't feel like it. He was so much a joy, a light, a inspiration, and a pure example. I want to be like him.

Tomorrow momma and I are hanging out, and tomorrow night I am supposed to be going four wheeling on an ATV. My Aunt gave me a card entitling me to a certain dollar amount a spa here in Idaho. I am so excited about this!

I got to spend time with one of my bridesmaids from my wedding today. Sylvia. It was nice and refreshing and wonderful. I have missed her. I miss my TN people, I love you guys. It is nice to be home with family though. :)

My cold has settled into my chest, YUCK. I feel like I can't breathe and that is kinda scary. Pray it goes away. We serve an amazing God and He can touch me. I need to get better so I don't cough as much.

Well, that is what has been up today...oh yeah, man those arctic circle milkshakes sure are good Sis Becki, not nearly as good as the fry sauce though. MMM MMM JEALOUS? ;) hehe, just kidding.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

8:25

Tonight, at that time I will be 25 years old, according to mom. Around 11:30 tonight four years ago today Damon proposed to me and my life changed forever. Today has been bittersweet for me. I have been doing pretty good with missing Damon but it has hit me hard today, he isn't here. I am sad, really sad. I feel bad, mom had the people sing to me today at the breakfast place and I just didn't feel into it. I hope they don't think I was a jerk, I am just sad. Sad and sick. I think my ears have been plugged for two or three days now. My life isn't what I thought it would be right now, I am still abundantly blessed and I don't want to mumble and complain or make all of those around me miserable. I need Jesus to catch my tears right now and to hold me. I miss my Damon. I miss him bad. I wish this wasn't my cup to bear. Mom needs my help getting ready for my party tonight, we have a lot to do. Pray I get happy and have a good time.

Blogger is being weird with me commenting again, well I think it's the connection, anyway Tammy- Thank you for your blog, that was sweet!

Autumn, tell Ambrie (I am not sure that is spelled right) that I love her too and thank you for the birthday wish. Tell your mom hello. And whole family.

Yvonne, I love you too and thank you for the call.

Friday, September 07, 2007

FYI

Honey prices are as follows:
5# Jar, $10
3# Jar, $6.50
Jar with Honey Comb $6
Big Bear $4
Little Bear $2.50

When I say little and big bear, its the same as what in the store how you see the big bear jars of honey and the little bear jars of honey. I don't know the ounce size.

On the laptop thing, I dont really want to get a new one. I know, I know..but I am leaning towards waiting and just getting the old one back. I dont like Vista. I am not 100 percent, but I am just not ready to let it go yet.

Moms yard sale is going good today, she is making mucho mula. We prayed and the Lord has provided. Pray for my nose, that it will stop leaking. YUCK.

WELL!

Only two responses on the laptop issue? Do I need to beg again??

Its official, I am SICK. Yucko, sicky sick sick.

Mom is having her yardsale, already made 25 buckaroos on the first sale, not bad huh. She is selling dads honey too. For those who don't know, my dad raises bees and has honey for sale, so if you want to buy some, let me know before I leave here and I can bring it back for you. He has the jar with the honey comb in it, small bear, big bear, 3 pound jar, and 5 pound jar. I am bringing a jar with the honey comb in it for myself, or I might give it away to someone. Mom and Dad brought some to Andy and Yvonne and Andy thought it was really good!

Well, sianara. if thats how you spell it.

For the record: I love you Damon Broyles.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Laptop Woes

Well, CompUSA called today. HP contacted them and said they are taking too long with the repair and I have two choices. A) they will issue the amount of money Damon spent on the laptop so another laptop can be bought, or B) I can wait for them to fix my laptop, but there is no ETA as to when it will be back.

I am torn, I really don't want to be without the internet for the next 2-3 months, but good grief...is internet really that important that I can't wait for the original laptop Damon and I bought as a Christmas present for each other? I know what Damon would say, he would say take the money and get a new one. But Damon isn't here and that laptop he bought me is a part of our life together, materialistic or not.

Opinions, prayers??? What think ye?

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Well....well. My birthday is Saturday. Today might be hot enough to get in the pool again, yesterday was COLD. I think the high might have been 75. I love Mountain Air, you just cant describe it to someone. You have to experience it for yourself. For some reason (pardon the lack of paragraphs, I am not feeling a very paragraphy right now)I cannot comment on peoples blogs at the moment. I tried to comment on Damons and gave up after 20 minutes. I guess it was about 20 minutes. We are having a yard sale tomorrow, then my birthday celebration Saturday. I need to make signs for mom today, she is selling some of dads honey too. I really need the Lord. I want to know both sides of the many sides of God. I know I will never truly understand or fathom Him, but I serve so much out of the fear aspect of things, I would love to press through that to the love and grace side of things as well. I just want to make it to Heaven, with all of my heart and soul. That is all that matters to me. I want to be perfected before Him. Sure, things in life are nice, but if they effect my relationship with my Creator in a negative light, I don't need them. I am really just burdened right now. I want to have a relaxed vacation. I don't want to sound like I am whining, but please pray I could have peace just for these two weeks, so I can relax. PLEASE. I love the Lord, and I want to please Him so much.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

WOOHOO

I got moms laptop up and running with internet. Thank YOU Jesus. I prayed He would get it to work correctly and He did.

I am getting my hair cut today. Not too short, just getting some layers put in. Right now it is mostly one length with the exception of my bangs so I am wanting some more movement in it. I was thinking about getting another perm put in because people are telling me they really like it wavy, but I dont want to ruin my hair. My hair is naturally wavy to some extent, but the perm helps. Enough about my hair.

My Friend Lisa is coming over today to go swimming, HOPEFULLY, it has gotten a bit chilly with the thunderstorm that rolled in last night. Mom had to cover the pool up, I need to go out and clean it before I leave to go get my hair done.

I need to pray and read my Bible. You know what I think, God is bigger than any storm. Lord Jesus help me to HEAR Your VOICE, an no other.

Well, that is all for today.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Miss Me Yet?

Well, it feels like it has been a long time. I am here, safe, and sunburned. :) My mom's computer is being fixed right now and my laptop apparently still isn't in. Thus, no interent connection at my parents. I am at a friends house right now posting.

My parents bought me a pool. WOOOHOOO! I am getting a tan. It's really nice and I am glad they got it, I have been swimming every day since Monday and the water is 76-78 degrees. So it feels nice.

My flight went well, I just don't like connecting in Atlanta because it makes such a long flight from there to Idaho. Speaking of Idaho, the weather is REALLLY nice here. It was 101 here yesterday and didn't feel NEARLY as hot as TN does when it is 101 there.

My parents had some friends over last night and had a cook out. My dad cooked up a toooon of meat. Man o man, I have never seen so much meat cooked at one time. It was fun, dad actually went grocery shopping with mom and I yesterday. A family shopping trip, so weird, yet so cool. My momma got me some more new clothes and I think they are cuuuute!

I miss my friends, know that I love you and think about you. I am having a great time with my family though, and am thankful for this vacation.

well, I don't know when I will post again, and remember...my birthday is THIS Saturday. :)

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Real Quick

Assembly was grreat! Laptop is not in yet, guess I will have to wait unless it comes in tomorrow before I leave.

I am sleepy and posting at the fox's. I am sad it is all over.

Pray for safe travel. Love you all.